Come Heller high water …

∫ Twitter is doubling the number of characters for tweets from 140 to 280. So if you thought President Trump’s tweets couldn’t get any more nuts, guess again.

∫ I think it’s a mistake. Most people can’t be interesting with 140 characters. What makes anyone think they’ll be more interesting with double the space to be dull? Brevity is the soul of all wit. And most writing. They should drop it to 70 if anything. (This paragraph, not including the parenthetical, was 253 characters, in case you were wondering. See how long and flabby that was? I could have dropped the entire second sentence.)

∫ If Twitter is looking for improvements, I’d start with getting rid of hashtags. Too many tweets are becoming nothing but gibberish strings of hyperlinks, which at least serve a purpose, and hashtags, which seldom do.

∫ Lions fans are in their annual trance. “They’re 2-1, and they’d be 3-0 if not for the refs. This is our year, woooo!” No, it’s not. What Lions fans always forget is they’re the Lions. Clouds are clouds. Cows are cows. The Lions are the Lions. And as such, they will implode at some point. And then all will be right with the universe.

∫ France is considering a law to make cat-calling a crime. Wait. You can hear half the men in France thinking: “Wait, so women DON’T like that?”

∫ The CEO of Equifax — which exposed half the nation’s private information to hackers — is retiring with a golden parachute worth $90 million. Of course he is. Ready yet to sign my petition calling for his private information — Social Security number, birthdate, bank account numbers and online passwords — to be printed on billboards coast to coast until the end of his days? I thought so.

∫ So, quick question: All you righties upset at NFL players who kneel, did you drop them from your fantasy team yet? Did you watch the games last weekend? Will you watch them this weekend? And how about college — I’ll bet a lot of those guys believe as the pros do and would kneel if they could. You gonna stop living and dying by them, too? Bet not.

∫ And why is disrespectful to kneel during the national anthem but OK to wear a flag T-shirt? Or wear a flag patch on your jeans? Or lick a flag stamp? One man’s symbol of patriotism is another man’s fashion statement, I guess.

∫ Louisville fired its legendary basketball coach over a bribery scandal. What I don’t get is why. We all know many college football and basketball programs are crooked. But we choose not to believe it because that would ruin the fun. My solution: Colleges should universally drop both sports, keeping all the rest, which haven’t been tainted to the degree football and basketball have. Then the pros create a development league where young players can develop and make money instead of being exploited.

∫ Saudi Arabia is finally giving women the right to drive, but only on Wednesdays. But why Wednesday? Why aren’t any of the news stories saying why?

∫ “Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” — Simone de Beauvoir.