Since I’ve been far too busy lately to write another column for this space, here’s a highly abridged version of the speech I gave at the 2026 Alpena High School graduation held at the stadium.

“What a joy to be here. What a privilege to be able to speak to some of my favorite people sitting in front of me today.

“You asked me to speak and gave me permission to give you some advice. I’m just going to remind you of three things, but, as it’s already well after 2:00, I won’t be able to make sure you get to the dentist on time.” (I know one shouldn’t explain his jokes, but… What’s the best time to go to the dentist? 2:30.)

“Congratulations. Look at how many people came out to support you. Today is a highlight for you. But. Life is not a highlight reel, sorry.

My first bit of advice: Don’t wait to be happy until the next highlight. Learn to find joy in the in-between times because that’s what life is made of.

You got here by small steps.

I’ve biked (pedaled) from Alpena to Grand Rapids twice. Depending on how you go, that can take three or four long days. Question: How do you cycle 100 miles in one day? One mile at a time.

It was a highlight last summer when I arrived on day three at a friend’s house in Muskegon. He greeted me warmly and showed me his favorite places. A nice highlight. So, to bike a century is 99.9 miles of consistent pedal strokes, one after another, mile after mile, and then a tenth of a mile of celebration. Here’s the thing: I’ve learned to enjoy mile 6 or mile 76 just as much.

Some of you will go on to earn advanced degrees in college. Getting a degree requires fulfilling all the requirements. That means each day you must assess your progress. Did I do what was necessary today to achieve the next step? Success happens early in the process. That means saying no to endless video games, movies, and scrolling on this awful thing.” At this point I held up my cell phone. “Every time you put down your phone and turn and face real life is a victory.”

“Real life is what is important. Not THIS.” And then, to their shock, I chucked the phone back a few hundred feet onto the football field.

“Both my daughter’s weddings recently were highlights for sure, but joy is also found in the day-to-day small things as well.

“For me, that starts with living at peace, peace with God, peace with self, family, neighbors, and community.

“My second bit of advice: Get to know how your body works.

Specifically, your brain. What fuels a well-working brain? It is meant to run, and runs best, on an important fuel: Joy. Joy is best described as the feeling you get when you walk into a room and your eyes lock onto people whose faces light up, who welcome you in, who are glad to be with you no matter what. It literally lights up your brain. Scientifically that happens in the right orbital prefrontal cortex of your brain. This part of your brain has executive control over the rest of your body. When the joy center of your brain is firing correctly, everything else works better. You’re not wasting energy on fight or flight concerns.

“Recent research has shown that circumstances affect only about 10% of our emotional state. So take advantage of neural plasticity. In other words, if you practice joy, you’ll get better at it.

“And you know how THIS works,” I said as I held up another large smart phone. “Going deeper into this swamp doesn’t help your brain. It does just the opposite.” And then I yeeted this one also as far as I could. More applause this time. “Stupid smart phones.”

“Advice #3: Avoid distractions and focus your mind on good things. Avoid those things that lead you into sadness, fear, anxiety, shame, anger… Those all keep you stuck in the wrong part of your brain.

“What’s your biggest distractor? Cell phones. Scrolling. Scrolling kills your joy.

“You’re watching someone else’s highlight reel, which is probably fake. You’re taking in rage-bait and lies. You’re wasting time. Instead, your brain thrives on the real flesh-and-blood smiles of loved ones. So value your relationships. Learn how to bring joy to those around you. Your education is not over: Become an expert, study diligently to get good at bringing joy to the people in your life. What else matters? It’s not THIS!” And I held up another phone. “This is engineered purposefully to keep you isolated and angry. Because anger generates passion and addiction and more clicks and more ad revenue.

“It’s not worth your mental, emotional energy to engage in online negativity. Don’t participate. Ignore it and move on!” This phone went flying as well accompanied by loud cheers.

“In conclusion, don’t wait to be happy until the next highlight. Learn to find joy in the in-between times. Success comes after a slow steady walk in the same direction.

“Get to know how your brain works. Learn how to live in joy.

“Avoid the distractions and focus on good things.

“Today we focus on you. You are some highlights for me that I will remember forever. Celebrate today and the relief of stress graduation brings. This is an important day for you and your families. We celebrate this highlight with you.

“But don’t discount the mundane, the everyday, the individual miles, the simple decisions, the smiles you see before you.

“Because without those there will be far fewer highlights.”