Dort

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw

Communication is about so much more than just the words that leave our mouths. This should not be new information. Plus, the challenges of communication are compounding as technology advances. Today, many people communicate from a distance – over the phone, via text, or with social media. Yet, anything other than face-to-face, in-person interaction is fraught with misunderstandings. Even when two people are in the same room, looking each other in the eye, there’s no guarantee that what is said will be understood as intended.

Something as simple as scheduling a date can be confusing. A friend and I planned to go hiking ‘next Thursday.’ We agreed on the time and meeting place, and I looked forward to our day outdoors. When the day arrived, I showed up – she didn’t. Puzzled, I called her, only to find that she had understood ‘next Thursday’ to mean the following week, not the immediate Thursday ahead. We laughed, but it was a reminder that even the simplest instructions can be misinterpreted when the context isn’t clear. Clarity is often a matter of perspective.

Words and phrases carry different meanings across cultures, families, and generations. Tone, body language, and facial expressions add layers to our messages, and when those cues are absent – like in written text – interpretation becomes a guessing game. Dry humor and sarcasm, which rely heavily on vocal inflection and facial expression, can be especially tricky. A well-intended joke can turn into an offense. A neutral comment can be read as passive-aggressive.

Part of the challenge might also be that language is always changing. Not only do people interpret words differently, but new words and phrases are welcomed into our vocabulary constantly. The way we speak today is vastly different from how people spoke a hundred years ago. Back then, language was more formal and elaborate. Sentences seemed carefully structured, and a single idea might have been expressed in as many as twelve or more words, whereas today we may use three or fewer.

I was reminded of this while watching an episode of The Circle, a reality game show where sequestered contestants live in separate apartments in the same building and can only communicate with one another via text messages, pre-shot selfies, or emojis. I’m attracted to the ongoing ‘exercise in communication’ that plays out during the show. The results are fascinating and, at times, baffling. In one particular episode, I found myself struggling to understand nearly 30%, or more, of what was being said. The language was full of slang and abbreviations from a generation or two (or three) younger, words that aren’t part of my daily vocabulary. It made me wonder: How much of our modern communication is being understood? And how much is just assumed or misinterpreted?

For example, consider a straightforward comment as it might have been spoken today versus a century ago. In today’s slang, someone might text: “sus,” in response to a comment. A hundred years ago, that individual might have verbally replied, “I find the circumstances surrounding this matter to be rather dubious and not entirely above suspicion.” Over time, words and phrases have been shortened, simplified, altered, and omitted. This can make communication faster, but

perhaps not more efficient. It can also create new barriers between generations, cultures, and individuals.

With so many ways to communicate today, we might assume we’ve become better at it. But I suspect the speed and convenience of modern communication may have come at the cost of clarity and depth. We abbreviate. We assume. We infer. We send quick texts instead of having meaningful conversations. We rely on emojis to replace our tone of voice. In doing so, we leave much open to interpretation.

So, what can we do? One solution is mindfulness. When speaking or writing, take an extra moment to ensure clarity. Take time to pause and carefully choose words, knowing that what seems obvious to us might not be to someone else. And when we’re on the receiving end, we can ask clarifying questions instead of jumping to conclusions.

Ultimately, communication is not just about the words we use – it’s about understanding and being understood. And in a world where language is constantly shifting, that requires patience, intention, and a willingness to bridge the gaps between us. If we don’t, we almost certainly end up hiking alone.

Lesslee Dort, a native of northeast Michigan, is a writer and lifelong explorer of the human experience. Through her essays and guided journals, Lesslee hopes to inspire readers to pause, reflect, and connect with themselves and those around them. Copies of her books are available for purchase at The Alpena News. Reach Lesslee via email – lesslee@regardingthejourney.com. Read her here on the third Thursday of each month.