March on to special days

The month of March, ho-hum!

I read, “March is a sloppy month. The word comes from Mars, the God of War. It’s us against nature in an unending struggle to survive.”

I agree.

But have faith, my fellow March detractors. Not only can we look forward to spring on the 19th, but Easter makes an early appearance this year on March 31.

That still leaves us with 29 more days of … what?

Even this year’s March Madness NCAA college basketball tournament teases us by having the final four not in March, but in April, the 6th through the 8th. Typical of March: all hat, no cows.

So here are some things to celebrate this month.

World Hearing Day on March 3, a day to address hearing loss prevention. I plan to stand in my front yard and yell at every car that goes by, “Can you hear me now?!”

Also on that day is National Introvert’s Day. I asked an introvert one time why they were that way. He didn’t answer me. Maybe he had hearing loss, too.

And, to make March 3 a trifecta of sorts, it is also Global Day of Unplugging, where it is suggested you put away all electronic devices and experience a day like our introvert and hearing loss friends.

Just kidding.

How about World Obesity Day on March 4, a day to educate ourselves about the dangers of being overweight — after my second donut, of course.

Or on the 8th, when it’s International Women’s Day. Yes, I looked it up to see if there was an International Men’s Day, and there is … in November.

And don’t forget about International Bagpipe Day on the 10th. OK, do forget it.

Then, on March 11, we get to celebrate World Plumbing Day, on which I will buy a new plunger to replace my rock-hard one of 50 years ago.

Then, on March 12, it’s Cyber Censorship Day. Whoopee! It encourages freedom of expression, which I am doing right now!

Two days later, on the 14th, is International Mathematics Day. That’s the day I send all my congressmen and congresswomen an email with instructions on how to balance a checkbook.

Halfway through the month already, so here’s some more. On the 15th, it’s World Contact Day. No, not for those of us who wear contact lenses, but to make contact with extraterrestrials! Yes, remind E.T. when you see him to call home, but do it later in the day, because the 15th is also World Sleep Day, a day to recognize the benefits of a good night’s sleep. Law prohibits alarm clocks on the 15th.

And one of my favorites happens on the 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. My personal genealogy says my French ancestors stopped by Ireland for about a hundred years on their way to America, waiting just long enough for the fermentation to be done on my favorite Irish whiskey, Jamesons.

Jumping ahead a bit, this is a good time to mention International Whiskey Day is on March 27 — but really, why wait?

On March 18, it’s Global Recycle Day, when (I am not kidding) you are supposed to look through your trash. I guess that’s because it’s wrong to look through your neighbor’s trash.

The 19th is International Client’s Day, when you check your mailbox to see all the thank-you cards your favorite business sent to you. Don’t hold your breath. In fact, go outside and breathe in the fresh air of the first day of spring!

March 20 is World Storytelling Day. Three men walk into a bar — whoops, that one is not for general consumption, so I will wait and tell my golfing buddies in April.

World Puppetry Day, yes, on March 21. Rumor has it Pinocchio is asking Lamb Chops to go to the Super Bowl and sit in a private suite.

On the 22nd, it’s World Water Day. I say close Enbridge Inc.’s Line 5 through the Straits of Mackinac and save the Great Lakes from catastrophe.

Don’t forget World Piano Day. It happens every year on the 88th day of the year. Why? (Hint: how many keys on a piano?) What day is the 88th day? You can figure that out for yourself on International Mathematics Day!

What’s next? It’s not a day, but an hour, as it’s International Earth Hour on March 30, when we are supposed to shut all lights off between 8:30 and 9:30 p.m. Heck, I am old. I do that every night!

March? It’s no wonder why, when asked what their favorite month is, only 4% answer March.

There is one more day in March that means a lot to me. It’s World Down Syndrome Day. It occurs March 21 every year. You will hear more from me about that special day later this month.

Stay tuned.

And, finally — yes, finally — we end March with Easter on the 31st.

You can see I have a pretty busy month ahead of me, but let me be the first to wish you Happy Easter and may we all live our lives with spirit and love in our hearts.

What did I miss? Let me know at gregawtry@awtry.com.


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