My wife knows well that one of my favorite sayings is, “There is only one Jones family, and we ain’t it.”

It’s my tongue-in-cheek way of stating my intention to not engage in a can’t-win arms race. I’d like some control in the core tenets of what my family and I live by, not be influenced by trying to catch up to what others do.

To illustrate, I once played golf a handful of times a summer with a friend. He told me about another friend that he golfed with regularly and how they played a little game.

One round, my friend would show up with a new driver, just to have a newer one than the friend. The next time, the friend would show up with a new putter, excited to showcase a flashy new toy. Then my friend would show up with a rangefinder, thrilled to “win” with his new gadget. And so on and so on.

And then there was me, still playing with most of the same clubs I’ve had since college, and still enjoying my round.

Life has a way of making you feel like you will be better with one more outfit, one more gadget, one more bedroom in the home. Social media and our ability to peek into others’ lives only accentuates that.

The problem is that social media is highly curated and one photo of someone wearing a new outfit on a boat isn’t indicative of who that person really is. He or she also hits snooze on their alarm clock or occasionally eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, just like the rest of us.

Wanting what others have is a trap that is easy to fall into. Nobody wants to be an outcast and, from grade school on, the easiest way to not feel like an outcast is to conform to fit in.

In a way, social media extends some of the worst of elementary school into adulthood. I have serious concerns about what screens and social media are doing to us long-term, and I believe that my cohort that was the first to come of age in the digital world will be studied long into the future.

Even my best recognition of the pitfalls of comparison doesn’t mean I don’t fall victim to it.

I admit I do occasionally get envious about something someone has or is doing on social media. I also fall victim to getting frustrated about people criticizing a decision I’ve made.

But being intentional about my choices is something I strive to be.

If we ever get frustrated by soft criticism someone makes about a choice someone in our family makes, I’m known to tell my wife the following: “How much do they truly worry about us? At the max, maybe 10 minutes a day? We have to live in our own shoes for 24 hours, each day. The 24-hour people are the ones I want to make decisions for.”

We are constantly bombarded with messaging about how to be better versions of ourselves, whether it comes with a direct price tag or through the insecurity-inducing scrolling through others’ profiles.

I have no good answer on how to deal with any of that, but I will share what my family tries to do.

∫ We try to center ourselves around God and our family.

∫ We prioritize getting outdoors.

∫ We make choices that put the four of us together as much as possible.

∫ We try and say yes to adventures, and make time for vacations together.

∫ We often visit the local library.

∫ We talk to each other — a lot.

∫ We try and instill a sense of service to each other, and to those outside our family.

* We try and make purchases out of need, and not want.

If you are looking to try to simplify your life and to decrease your comparisons and digital footprint, your game plan will likely look different than mine.

Just know your last name likely isn’t Jones, nor is mine.

Alpena native Jeremy Speer is the publisher of The Courier in Findlay, Ohio, the Sandusky (Ohio) Register, The Advertiser-Tribune in Tiffin, Ohio, the Norwalk (Ohio) Reflector, and Review Times in Fostoria, Ohio. He can be reached at jeremyspeer@thecourier.com.