I was waiting in Harry’s Auto the other day when I heard a banging, crunching noise out front and someone’s curse.

A moment later, in walked Jimmy Knechtel. He’s a regular here and helps out sometimes. He walked around the counter to grab his keys.

“How are you doing, Jimmy?” I asked.

“Oh, hi. I’m fine, except my wrist. I tripped on some signs out front. Do you know that chiropractor who moved in right next to Harry’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, they’re redoing the front of the buildings. Harry and the chiropractor’s businesses touch, so they put a couple temporary signs on the sidewalk. That’s what I tripped over, you see, knocked ’em all kablooey.”

“I heard.”

“I put the signs back up.”

“Good. How’s the truck?”

Before he could respond, a woman who looked like someone’s great-aunt hobbled in and asked Jimmy to see the doctor. Jimmy looked at her a moment and then yelled, “Hey, Doc!” to Harry, who was in the shop.

“Who, me?” Harry shouted back.

“Yeah, you,” Jimmy laughed. “You got a customer! Yeah, Harry can fix anything.”

Harry came out wiping his hands on a dirty towel, looked at her, and said, “You got the 9:15 appointment?” She nodded.

“OK. What seems to be the problem? Some kind of breakdown?”

“Uh …,” and she got this little frowny look. “I need to see you right away.”

“Are there any particular symptoms?” asked Harry.

“Of course. Something in the back,” she said with her hand on her hip.

“Does it vibrate?”

“What?”

“Does it vibrate?” said Harry, who’s very busy, and I could see he was trying to be nice.

“Not exactly. I had a load of groceries in the garage when I heard something pop.”

“So it was in your rear end?”

She looked at me, but it seemed like a reasonable question. I shrugged. She said, “Uh, well actually a bit higher. Alignment? Maybe a disk?”

Harry said, “Could be the alignment. Have you had balance problems?”

“A bit, at times.”

“Could we take a test run?”

“No, please! But I would like to sit down,” she said, and she did.

“Now, describe those sounds,” Harry continued.

“Well … when I move fast. A quick start or something …”

Jimmy quipped, “No matter. You know what they say: If you can’t fix it with a hammer and a crowbar, it can’t be fixed.”

Her eyes got wide and she clutched her heavy purse.

“OK,” said Harry. “Why don’t you swing around back, and we’ll take a look.”

She just sat there staring at him for a moment, and then sputtered, “Aren’t you going to look into my history … you know, check into my health?”

Harry is usually a patient guy, but he looked at Jimmy as if this was his fault. Back to her, he said, “How you doin?” and paused about two seconds and then said, “So, we’ll use the hoist to check for leaks …”

“What?”

“… and loose parts … Some we may have to replace.”

Her hand went to her mouth. “Parts? Are you serious? You have parts?”

“We’ve got the best stock in town. I’ll need your make and model.”

“What do you mean by that?” she said angrily.

“Pull around back. Do you have gas?”

“Oh … sometimes, I guess …”

“What age are we looking at? 2015? ’02?”

“1952,” she said under her breath.

“Wow, that’s an old one,” Jimmy said to Harry.

“Thanks a lot!” she grumbled. “Say, do you people know what you’re doing?”

Jimmy answered, “Harry’s great. I’ve been doing body work for years, too.”

“You’ve run into this problem before?” she asked.

Harry said, “Sure, happened to one of my own, one of my favorites. I called her Alice.”

“You were married?”

“Huh, felt like it,” he said. “One day, I had her hauling logs out of the woods and backed her into a tree pretty hard. She couldn’t take it. Just fell apart. Luckily, I had some spare parts handy. Lasted a couple more years, but I couldn’t hook the chain to her anymore …”

This woman’s face went all white, and she could barely speak. “Where’s Alice now?”

“Dumped her behind the barn, spare parts, you know. Used her for all she was worth, but that’s the way it is. I’ve been through a few more since then …”

“You are disgusting!” She stood. “I’m leaving!”

Harry and Jimmy watched her go and shook their heads.

I said, “Uh, Jimmy, I think you mixed up the signs when you put them back up.”

Jimmy thought about that for a while. “So, you’re going to write about this for that column of yours?”

“Of course. Some people accept a version of cultural Christianity, picking and choosing whatever they want to believe without checking the source, which leaves them misaligned, you see.”

Phil Cook is a teacher, works in northern Michigan with Biglife, an international disciple-making ministry, and serves on the Board of Directors for Sunrise Mission in Alpena.