An unsigned, sans-return-address letter arrived at my office the other day.

Like many anonymous critiques I receive, the accusations against me were outlandish and wrong and based largely on misunderstandings about how and why we do what we do.

I respond to every signed letter, email, and voicemail I can, but anonymous attacks usually go straight to the recycle bin.

This one, however, was so outlandish and wrong I thought I’d take a stab at a response here, point-by-point. All of the grammar and punctuation mistakes are the letter-writer’s.

“Hey Justin so much for your clout only one out of six voted, after your hype get out and vote that’s about how many read your paper. Your a joke.”

Indeed, though The News had written multiple editorials encouraging Alpenans to show up to the polls for this month’s Alpena Municipal Council election, only about 17% of registered voters did.

I don’t know if I or The News could take any credit for it, but 17% actually ranks relatively high for a municipal election. A county GOP chairman in my hometown used to offer to donate $1,200 to charity if turnout for the Battle Creek City Commission races hit 12%. He never had to donate that money.

And, though Alpena’s 17% this year is down significantly from the 23% in 2017, a ballot that also included a countywide proposal for a property tax hike to fund the new county jail, it’s up from 2019’s 15% and 2015’s about 8%.

If it makes me a joke, I’m a joke. I’ll still shout from the rooftops for more voters, because I think it’s important.

Whether The News inspired any voters or not, I know this paper still has a lot of clout.

Back in 2019, The News reported that Hillman Community Schools had hired Heather Winfield even after learning Winfield had resigned from Alpena Public Schools amid that district’s investigation into her inappropriate relationship with a student. Hillman changed its policy after our story ran.

That same year, we wrote about the Disabled American Veterans’ need for a new van to transport military vets to medical appointments. After our story, the donations flowed in and the DAV got a van quicker than they would have otherwise.

This year, we wrote about an antique wedding dress and other heirlooms that had belonged to an Alpena family discovered in a chest in California. Because of our reporting, the California woman who found the chest was able to return several family heirlooms to the original owner’s ancestors living in Illinois.

That’s clout.

As for “one in six” people reading The News, I actually don’t know the ratio offhand.

What I do know is that, between our printed paper and TheAlpenaNews.com, more people than ever before read your Alpena News in September and October, and we add subscribers in print and online every month.

“One more thing you continually beg people to subscribe to your paper”

Well, the letter-writer’s got me there.

I do ask people to subscribe to the paper. A lot.

That’s because I run a business, and I’ve got dozens of employees who have families to feed, and I want to pay them as well as I can. I can only do that if people subscribe to and advertise in the paper.

You show me a business that doesn’t encourage people to buy their product or services, and I’ll show you a business about to go out of business.

“Have a great day Let’s Go Brandon”

That’s how the letter-writer signed off.

“Let’s go Brandon” means “f*** Joe Biden.”

Last month, NASCAR driver Brandon Brown won his first Xfinity Series race and the crowd started chanting “f*** Joe Biden while NBC’s Kelli Stavast interviewed Brown live on air.

“You can hear the chants from the crowd, ‘Let’s go Brandon,'” Stavast said on air.

As far as I can tell, Stavast hasn’t said why she quoted the crowd differently, but there are innocuous explanations: She could have misheard it, as anyone might while a big crowd chants while you’re surrounded by other noises. Or she could have been trying to prevent her TV audience from hearing an obscenity, which would not be the right thing for a reporter to do — even a sports reporter — but that wouldn’t make it a coverup.

Still, the phrase “Let’s go Brandon” has become its own meme and rallying cry for the right.

It’s childish to sign a letter that way.

It’s like when I used to try to sneak one past my mother by saying, “What the cuff?,” instead of dropping the f-bomb.

I still had to wash my mouth out with soap.

Justin A. Hinkley can be reached at 989-354-3112 or jhinkley@thealpenanews.com. Follow him on Twitter @JustinHinkley.