Greg Awtry

I am old, 72 if we are counting. I don’t have a bucket list and if I did I am sure all the boxes have been checked. I thought I was done with all of life’s “firsts,” with nothing ahead of me that I hadn’t already experienced. I was wrong.

On this past New Year’s Eve I answered the weekly call from my son who lives in the Washington, D.C. area and who will turn 50 later this year. I will tell you if there ever was a perfect son, he is it. I have always admired him for his intelligence, leadership, and his compassion. I have written in the past that I learned more about what’s truly important in life from him than he ever learned from me.

I was an assistant Scoutmaster with a front-row seat to watch him attain his Eagle Scout award. Later in life we did extended backpack trips high in the Rocky Mountains. Heck, it was he who got me started in the newspaper business. He has his own remarkable family, a loving and caring wife, a daughter who graduated from college and a son still in college. My son has had a dream career, highly successful in every way.

So what about that phone call? He called to tell me he is transitioning into a woman, no punchline, no joke. This was a serious decision and conversation. I was near speechless as he explained he has known this from an early age and that he has struggled with it daily for 40 years.

I couldn’t understand it, and felt life had just thrown a major size lemon at me, slamming me right in the heart.

I asked about his marriage. He assured me his loving wife and two grown children were fully onboard regarding this decision.

Well, for the next few months, our frequent calls did little to help me grasp the circumstances. I kept asking where is my son. Do I no longer have a son? I was concerned he was making a mistake like any concerned parent would feel. I asked if he thought about the future, the next 10 or 20 years. I continued to struggle with his decision.

Finally, after much thought and finding the courage to share this story with my closest friends, I found the answer, thanks to the advice from one dear friend.

He said, “Greg, he is your child, and nothing in our lives is more important than family.” I knew that, but I guess I had to hear it to remind me how true it is. But still, I wondered how I would handle it when we get together again this summer.

This week was that time. I spent four days together with my son and his family, along with my daughter and her family. I will admit is was initially uncomfortable for me, but what I found out was my son was the same person I have admired his entire life.

His first name went from Josh to Jessica, but inside his new body was the same soul, the intelligent, successful, compassionate child I was blessed with. I discovered the angst I went though after his news paled in comparison to the struggle he has dealt with for 40 years. I realized what every parent wants for their children, which is for them to be happy, and that is exactly what I saw in Jessica.

After reaching a point in my life where I was comfortable with nothing new, I found out you never really reach that point, and that you can grow and learn every day.

So, that lemon that bruised my heart? I guess you could say I picked it up, and turned it into lemonade.

I love you, Jessica!

As always, I would like to know your thoughts at gregawtry@awtry.com. Greg Awtry is the former publisher of the Scottsbluff (Neb.) Star-Herald and Nebraska’s York News-Times. He is now retired and living in Hubbard Lake.