My most popular Facebook musings

“Write a column sharing your Facebook posts!” “Incorporate some of your Facebook posts into a column.” “Use that Facebook post for a column idea.”

People have been making statements like those to me for awhile now. I think it’s weird (no offense to those who have said this), but held onto the idea for a time when I was overwhelmed with work and needed a last-minute column idea because time got away from me.

That time has come. With two major events (Leadercast Women and Red, White, Blue Review) this week (whose idea was it to host back to back events anyway?), we are running around a little crazy, making it the perfect week to take the advice of others and share some of my Facebook posts. The following are a random selection of Facebook posts from the last three years that received the highest volume of interaction. Enjoy.

“I’ve rendered myself ineffective the rest of the day because I just realized that ‘verb’ is actually a noun, yet verbs are not nouns. Because they are verbs.”

“There’s something fun about sitting in a meeting, engaging in serious dialogue, but knowing the whole time that your feet don’t touch the floor because the chairs are too big.”

“If I type something instead of write it with a pencil, does it still have a point?”

“The next dinner event I host will be BYOT (bring your own toaster) and will be a buffet of every flavor of pop tart.”

“Someone called the Chamber today to ask what day of the week it is. Thank goodness for Google.”

“I’m wearing white today. On purpose. In your face, after Labor Day.”

“The level of soreness my body has Monday seems to be directly related to the level of awesomeness the weekend was.”

“Twenty, two-pound turkeys would be a much cuter Thanksgiving than a 22-pound turkey.”

“If I were a turtle, I’d totally want skylights in my shell.”

“My phone doesn’t always get it quite right when transferring a voicemail to text. A recent voicemail to text read: that’s not going to work with my schedule but if for some reason you have a gender change, let me know and I will make it happen. Hmmm…”

“Ok, so here’s the thing about things. Don’t fret over things that aren’t really fret-able things.”

“I feel bad for the carpet in the elevator because it’s so unevenly worn. I try to keep to the edges to help make it feel useful too. Also, I saw a pine cone all by itself in the middle of the sidewalk last night. I felt bad for him so I scooted him back to the edge where his friends were.”

“How in the world can so many people be an expert in every single topic? I must have missed that class in school.”

“Special announcement! For the first time in forever, every single one of my socks has, and is hanging out with, its identical twin. Amazing stuff right there.”

“Can we all calm down and eat popsicles for a moment please?”

“I had a dream last night that I won an inflatable kayak … paddle. That seems effective.”

“Things don’t get older. Time just gets newer.”

“One of my favorites of my job: telling people they are going to be receiving an award.”

“Analyze this please. Last night’s dream included me going to practice shooting my bow, talking to my squirrel friends, and eating recliners that my mom baked out of bread. They were delicious and a beautiful golden brown.”

“If you have to tell Santa you’ve been good, you probably haven’t.”

“I can’t get anything done until I decide what I would name an eighth day of the week.”

“Did you know that it’s possible to vote without posting on Facebook that you voted? Weird, I know!”

“Treadmill etiquette is much like urinal etiquette (so I hear) – never take the one right next to someone if there is space to spread out.”

“The only debate I’m interested in today is the one in my head about what shoes to wear.”

“If it was up to me, it would be spelled sqwerl.”

There you have it. Welcome to a deeper dive into my brain. I’ve been writing these columns for so long and have shared so much with the readers that I feel like you have all come to know too much about me (insert shrug emoji). For those of you who asked for this column, it’s been delivered, and I hope it was everything you wanted it to be. Thank you for saving me during this crazy week.

Jackie Krawczak is president/CEO of the Alpena Area Chamber of Commerce. Her column runs bi-weekly on Thursdays. Follow Jackie on Twitter @jkrawczak.