Come Heller high water…

ABC’s swift cancellation of “Roseanne” is good news on two fronts. It tells me companies have learned the lesson that they better be quick to take action when it comes to intolerance and racism or consumers and investors will make them pay. That in turn tells me a lot more people are on the right side of history than the current political atmosphere in Washington, D.C., would suggest.

And please spare me all the First Amendment defenses. No one said she couldn’t say whatever she wants. What’s great about America is people are allowed to be loudmouth, racist jerks if they want to be. But companies also don’t have to employ them.

Also, spare me the Trump comparisons. I’m no Trump fan, but he’s not responsible for Roseanne. And yet just about every talking head on TV couldn’t resist suggesting there was a link. Listen, Roseanne was an idiot and a provocateur long before Trump was elected. Come to think of it, so was Trump.

I wonder if he’s thinking of her for a cabinet position, though. You gotta admit, she’d be a perfect fit.

Roseanne blamed her tweets on the sleeping drug Ambien. The Ambien people responded by saying “While all pharmaceutical treatments have side effects, racism is not a known side effect of any Sanofi medication.” Awesome.

Trump’s gonna appropriate that one: “So, OK, I colluded and obstructed, but only because of the Ambien.”

I follow God on Twitter (not kidding. I really do.) God posted this: “I was on Ambien when I created mankind.”

Kim Kardashian met with Trump in the Oval Office. He said they talked about prison reform. I’ll bet they talked ratings.

I love that he talks to a reality TV show star about prison reform. That makes as much sense as talking to a fire hydrant about French cooking. (I know that makes no sense. See?)

Random thought to break up all the Trump stuff: I love that more and more restaurants are doing away with straws for environmental purposes. But I gotta admit there are some places where I think, “I don’t want my lips touching that glass.” I suppose I shouldn’t be eating in those places in the first place, right?

Spygate looks to be dead after just a week, thanks to … Republicans? Yeah, it’s true. Rep. Trey Gowdy — the chairman of the chairman of the House Oversight Committee and a guy who puts the oolong in the Tea Party — said, “When the FBI comes into contact with information about what a foreign government may be doing in our election cycle, I think they have an obligation to run it out. Based on what I have seen, I don’t know what the FBI could have done or should have done other than run out a lead that someone loosely connected with the campaign was making assertions about Russia, I would think you would want the FBI to find out whether there was any validity to what those people were saying.” Then to top it off Shepard Smith of Fox News said, “President Trump has also claimed the feds spied on his campaign with an informant. The president calls it Spygate. Fox News can confirm it is not. Fox News knows of no evidence to support the president’s claim.” Holy cow, Batman, this is so weird and unexpected, it’s almost scary. God, was that you at work? Did you do this right after the Ambien tweet?

“Time will inevitably uncover dishonesty and lies; history has no place for them.” — Norodom Sihanouk.