I am about to make a full disclosure. It’s one of those things people don’t like to do themselves but seem to enjoy when other people do it.

I’ve been writing this bi-weekly column for 2 1/2 years now but I’m not at all sure what it is I’m doing. The column has followed a scattered approach lacking any central theme — perhaps you’ve noticed. There has been a little of this and a little of that, both often lacking in any discernible substance.

There may be things I should have done that weren’t or things I did, I shouldn’t have. I suspect there are multiple examples of both. The truth is, I just don’t know.

It was over 2 1/2 years ago that Bill Speer the editor/ publisher of this newspaper asked me to write this column. I was unaware why he did so; I am unaware why he continues to do so.

Though I’m confident both Bill and Steve Murch, the managing editor, read my columns, they continue to accept them. But when I ask for input as to why or for guidance as to how to improve, their responses have been vague. I’ve come to believe they too are puzzled. I can’t complain though, things seemed to be getting on reasonably well.

But it’s during these times of apparent calm that problems can grab hold; equanimity can be disturbed.

I gave this issue some thought and came to the conclusion I needed to seek the opinion of other professionals; people divorced from my situation who could provide unbiased direction and objective comment. Those of us who engage in a column writing avocation shouldn’t flinch from the fear of criticism. It will arrive in both banal forms and ego fracturing doses of thoughtful expression no matter what we do. One’s sense of humor need not be so well developed as specific to the column writing task.

So, I submitted a few old columns for review wanting to see if others in this business believed them worthy of dissemination. I thought by receiving their input I could gain insight into what it is I’ve been doing and, hopefully, learn how to improve whatever that may be. Maybe some consistency would emerge bringing comfort to the editors and to me; perhaps a benefit to you by conveying something with meaning.

As noted this is a full disclosure — one that entails not only telling what I did but sharing the results. Here’s a couple of the rejection letters:

Dear Mr. Pugh:

What?

We are returning your entire packet.

Merit Lacking

Editor

Writ Large and Loud

Dear Mr. Pugh

Thank you for submitting to Troublesome End Times. We noted a certain quaintness in your style but it was not one we found useful.

Wally Ballou

Publisher

There were others, all, to like effect

Now, for a final disclosure in this full disclosure statement.

I have arrived at two conclusions: First, both the editor/publisher and the managing editor of The Alpena News are more astute than I had given them credit for. I now wish to express my appreciation for their singular ability to find some value in my writing; an ability, as you can see, that has eluded all other editors.

Secondly and certainly most importantly — to you, precious reader — special recognition is due. You are unique in your degree of discernment. I am most appreciative of your kind comments and the patience you have so generously extended me. It is now clear that you — every one of you, the entirety that is all of you — are completely irreplaceable.

Unfortunately, I still don’t have a clue what it is I’m doing.

Doug Pugh’s Vignettes runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. He can be reached via email at pughda@gmail.com.