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When I grow up to be a man
The Beach Boys produced a song in 1965 whose lyrics resonate in the heart of every male that has ever been born, (to some degree). The wonder of the song has been asked at different times in our growth. There were times in a person's life, and in history, when the questions were asked easily and, at times, harder. Remember when there was the expectation that fathers should talk to their sons about 'the birds and the bees'?
Today, it seems harder to ask the questions unless it is after a very painful, sinful, confusing, and shameful incident, and it is usually with a professional counsellor. The vast majority of times males grow through life never having appropriate discussions with anyone, and growth is stunted, and misunderstandings continue in humankind. What is the appropriate male and female expression and manifestation of God's creation? How can I help? Gender confusion plagues us. What is the best response? Let love guide us………..
The evil one loves it when confusion reigns! Perfect male expression in this life is impossible without the perfect male, Jesus, being visited with as much as possible. Even then we can only strive for perfection. The world of selfishness wants a continuation of misinterpretation and confusion.
Happiness is defined by this world in promiscuity, selfishness, and a relativism that ultimately leads to pain and destruction. Specifically, we also witness an increasing level of alcohol and drug abuse, and the mishandling of gender confusion and physical and sexual abuse that often lead to suicide, or a perpetuation of the above-described pain.
It’s now time to write about my ideals of male journeying through life (I remember that I am a very imperfect man that, like all of us, need the forgiveness of God and others as I journey through life. Also, this description will be woefully incomplete.) The lyrics of the song need to be accessed to give a little context. Specifics won't be given, but attitude is all important. Most of the descriptions of healthy male journeying are made by older males and must be repeated over and over. Motherly figures, big sisters, wives etc., too, offer great expectation and formation, as well. Of course, a healthy father-son relationship is preferred but not always possible but, again, discussions must happen. Uncles, and teachers, and coaches, and other healthy male mentors should respectfully step in. There is, after all, a responsibility and a duty to the past, present, and future. 'It takes a village'.
IN ALL DISCUSSIONS THE SPIRIT OF GOD AND HIS LOVE MUST BE CONSCIOUSLY PURSUED BY ALL, ALL THE TIME! It is a must that there be prayer before, during, and after. The attitude of forgiveness must be at the forefront as mistakes in communication and action will happen, as we stumble through life.
Open, and honest discussion must happen often, especially in the critical formative years of youth. Growth at this level is very quick. It is very hard to do, and easy to put off, but we must get to it. Silence is deadly, and if there is a vacuum, the evil one is happy to jump in. Don't let it happen!
Another form of communication is found in our unspoken modelling of good male behavior. Ideally, a balanced combination of both specific discussion and modelling appropriate male behavior is a primary goal for healthy presence to another. Jesus' life on earth was a perfect balance of word and action that led/leads to resurrection. A third absolute essential is, again, prayer. We know there is no such thing as perfect balancing in this world. Therefore, regular visits with our perfect God desiring His input in our efforts at balanced communications is, again, essential.
'Comparing notes' with others is also very important in our efforts to try to do it right and be present to others. Too, the mistakes of history must be considered (and forgiven), thus we can learn from them.
The goal is a joyful journeying where love for God, self, and neighbor abounds. We must consciously and unconsciously love ourselves and others with God into His Heaven…………….