Well, it is now basketball season, so I will share some of my basketball officiating tales.

A place to officiate basketball that you had to experience was at the “Civic Arena” in the tiny Thumb community of Port Austin.

Now, this was back in the 70s, so I have no idea if that building still exists or if Port Austin still plays games there.

We officials dubbed it the “Civic Arena,” but it was just a single building in the village with a tiny basketball floor. There were bleacher seats behind a three-foot wall on one side of the court and a raised stage on the other side. There was no room for an official to get out of bounds, because the end walls, bleachers, and stage were so close to the playing floor.

The showers and locker room were in a basement below the stage and were also pretty cramped. We changed clothes in the coach’s tiny office, also below the stage. We often were interrupted during changing into our uniform by the coach’s wife (also the cheerleading coach) bopping in to drop off or pick up cupcakes or cookies for the girls.

“I won’t look. Don’t mind me. I’ll get out of here in a hurry”.

My first trip to Port Austin set the stage for this story, plus another one.

Because Port Austin was so far from our home in Saginaw, the varsity and junior varsity officials rode together. Of course, that meant leaving Saginaw about 3:30 p.m. so the JV officials could make game time.

On the first trip there, I was a rookie and one of the JV officials.

As we are officiating the JV game, I noticed the varsity officials up in the bleachers, standing at a table and paying for something.

After the JV game, the varsity officials explained that the Port Austin moms baked cakes and brought them to the game and sold raffle tickets. They handed the rookie, me, a handful of tickets, and said, “They draw for the cakes at halftime of the varsity game while we will be down in the coach’s office. If we win a cake, you need to claim it for us.”

Well … they had five winning tickets.

This rookie had to go up five times and pick up five cakes. By the third trip up with another winning ticket, I could hear the fans grumbling. Those darn refs won all of our cakes. By the fifth winning cake ticket, the grumbling was pretty loud.

By the time the varsity game had ended and the varsity refs had showered and dressed, it was probably 10 p.m., and, since we had been on the road about seven hours, we were hungry.

On the way back to Saginaw, there was a bowling alley/bar/restaurant just north of Bad Axe that was still open at that hour and a convenient stopping place for a burger.

The four of us are having our sandwich and a beer when there was a commotion at the table behind us. There was some back-slapping and handshaking happening, and some guy was getting a kiss on the cheek from the waitress.

We inquired as to what was going on. We were told that it was the birthday of the guy getting the kiss.

We said, “No fooling? It’s your birthday? Well, we’ve got a cake.”

Out to the car we went and brought in one of the cakes. So we helped the guy celebrate his birthday.

On to the next year and the second part of the story.

Three of the four officials from the above story are off to Port Austin again.

Again, I get stuck holding the raffle tickets and, again, the varsity officials win cakes. I think it was only one or two.

We are at the same diner on the way home as the previous year. The bartender comes over and quietly asks, “You guys are basketball officials, aren’t you?”

We confessed that we were.

He said, “I knew it. I just won a $5 bet with the guy at the bar.”

I said, “Did you work here last year?”

He said, “Yes”.

I said, “Do you remember a year ago referees came in and brought in a cake for a birthday?”

He replied, “I do remember that.”

I said, “We’re the same refs, and we have more cakes in the car.”

Thinking of Port Austin reminded me of another visit to officiate there.

My partner was Charlie, and he was a veteran official and also quite quick with a comment. A close game just ended and Charlie and I were walking off of the court. Remember, the fans were right on top of the floor.

A woman ran up to Charlie and yelled in his face, “You missed two traveling calls in the fourth quarter.”

Charlie looked at the woman and said, “Fifty-four.”

She gave a confused, “What?”

Charlie continued, “Well, I try to keep a mental count of the calls I miss during a game. I was at 52, but, if you say that I missed those two travel calls, I’m up to 54.”

We walked away chuckling, leaving the woman just standing there.

Les Miller, of Hubbard Lake, has retired after 53 years officiating multiple sports around Michigan. He can be reached at theoldref@yahoo.com.