Hey, it’s November.

That means it’s open season on talking about thanksgiving again.

I love it.

Jackie Krawczak gave us an excellent challenge a few weeks ago: Write one thing you’re grateful for each day for the last 61 days of the year.

In fact, all of us should have a gratitude journal.

My Appreciation Journal that I’ve been working on for over a year is similar. I have almost 80 entries so far. They’re mostly memories of good times when joy was a big part of an experience. And I thank God for those moments. It’s a great way to increase my capacity for joy, and it helps train the brain to return to joy from difficult emotions.

For help with the exercise, Dr. Marcus Warner created the acronym GAMES.

Gratitude is first. It refers to thinking consciously about what we can appreciate in the present. Do that each day. Notice something in the moment and spend some time in purposeful thanksgiving.

Next is Anticipation joy. He notes you should never surprise your wife with a European vacation. The three months of anticipation is half the fun.

Reliving Memories is a very important part of the exercise. Remember times when you were joyful, peaceful, relationally happy. How did that feel? What were you seeing, hearing, tasting? Spending five minutes in a memory like that a few times a day will rewire the brain to notice and experience and build more joy.

The E is for Experiences. Plan something fun to do. To help me get through the winter, in February and March, I start to plan cycling adventures. Come warmer weather, I’ll appreciate that.

Singing can be a bridge into joy. Make a list of songs you like. Those can bring back memories of joyful times.

Foundational to mental health, gratitude counters the slide when bombarded with the gloomy influences of social media, media in general, and just our mind’s tendency to highlight the negative.

Our brains need regular positive input.

Much research has been done on the practice of gratitude journals.

The results of appreciation: increased well-being and happiness. Feeling more positive emotions and fewer negative emotions.

Some studies have linked the practice of gratitude to decreased levels of depression.

We’ve heard all that before.

But we actually have to do it — to practice it — if we want our brains to change.

There’s no use sitting around talking about improving guitar technique. One has to actually practice, to do the painful work to build up calluses, to increase the dexterity of the fingers, to work until muscle memory causes the fingers to hit that Fmaj7 chord — using your thumb, mind you — on time and without thinking.

The practice of noticing and being thankful in the moment creates in us immediate positive effects.

But there’s more.

It’s a social emotion, shown in actions and attitudes that are great for those around us while amplifying the benefits for us in the process.

Dr. Martin Seligman did a study in which he instructed people to write a letter of gratitude to someone. But then he told them to deliver the letter to the person directly.

Awkward.

Once they got over the fear and awkwardness of making the contact and delivering the letter, it turned out very well for them. This had positive effects on the letter-writer’s well-being that lasted not just for the moment but for an entire month.

An entire month.

Interpersonal expressions of gratitude are better than just being generally grateful, as gratitude is a relational experience. It’s good for relationship satisfaction and commitment.

Being appreciated is a powerful motivator. If you want to reinforce a specific social act, expressing gratitude to the person is a good way to get more of that behavior.

I remember early during the COVID-19 pandemic driving across the state and stopping to get gas and a snack. To the attendant I said, “Thanks for working today. I needed you to be here.” I’ll trust there was a smile behind the mask. I’ve kept that up, thanking strangers occasionally for being there and providing a needed service.

And it’s even better if we share gratitude and appreciation with our loved ones and those we live and work with.

I heard John White, a retired pastor, say, “Love grows in the dance of joy between gift and gratitude.”

Love grows.

Kyle gives a gift to Ava and receives joy in the giving. Ava feels loved and has joy in the receiving. Then Ava makes the effort to express thanks to Kyle, which multiplies her joy, and Kyle’s happiness increases as he smiles at her response.

Love grows.

Joy grows in each interaction.

To be thanked is to be loved.

That is yet another admonition from the Bible that has been proven wise by modern science.

Phil Cook can be reached at 3upquarks@protonmail.com.