Several years ago, I was grocery shopping and bumped into someone as I was moving down the aisle looking for a particular item. As the other person turned to me, I could feel my fear build as the slow-motion smile of recognition was forming on her face. Then something terrifying happened, she said, “Lesslee, Hello! I haven’t seen you in so long!” We conversed for a bit. It was pleasant and my heart felt like it had been gently hugged.

I am embarrassed to admit I didn’t know her name. I shook it off and figured it was no big deal. We exchanged some small talk and life went on. I distinctly remember feeling as though I somehow knew this person. Yet I couldn’t exactly place her. It didn’t diminish the smile on my face.

Here’s my guilty confession — It has now been several years since that initial encounter. She and I cross paths often. We’ve built up quite a rapport. We update on our lives, family, and travels. The nagging problem is I still don’t know her name. I just haven’t been able to admit it.

This isn’t merely a minor inconvenience. Nor is it my problem alone. Many of us are at the mercy of our complex minds. What we are experiencing is a cognitive process that psychologists have studied extensively. One explanation, the “blocking” theory, suggests that when we’re trying to recall a name, other similar-sounding names or words inadvertently flood our minds, effectively barricading the one we seek.

What’s interesting is that the minute I walk away from a situation such as this, the adrenaline runs out of my system, and I start to relax. By the time I’ve arrived home or gotten involved in another task the name will likely pop into my head, completely unassociated with anything I happen to be doing.

Psychology offers a plethora of insights into why names seem to vanish into thin air. According to one study, our brains are hardwired to prioritize information based on its relevance and personal significance. When we meet someone new, our brains are quick to focus on the details that shape our perception of that individual, such as their appearance, body language, voice, or a peculiar piece of clothing they’re wearing. Unfortunately, in this frenzy of sensory processing, the name often gets relegated to the hard-to-reach, dusty corners of our memory.

Next time you find yourself grappling with a forgotten name, take a moment to appreciate the marvel of your mind. As your neurons scramble to unearth that elusive piece of information, remember that you’re not alone in this peculiar adventure. We can always come up with explanations for what ails us, but the magic almost always lies in the journey through the quirky corridors of memory.

Remember, forgetting names isn’t just an annoyance; it’s a shared human experience. At this point in my life, I have acquired many techniques to try to elicit someone’s name or avoid it entirely. I have also realized my lack of recognition doesn’t have much to do with how I feel about a particular person.

Imagine if we never faltered in recalling names, our social interactions might lose some of their charm. That endearing dance of laughter and awkwardness, the playful “I-know-your-name-but-it’s-escaped-me” confession — these are the threads that weave the rich tapestry of human connection.

From this day forward, I’m going to be bold, embrace my mind’s maze, and ask for names, maybe more than once in the same conversation. I like people and want to cultivate memories, even if it means I must admit I don’t remember their names. Surely friends will understand that a simple memory hiccup doesn’t negate their relevance in my life.

Lesslee Dort is a board-certified patient advocate who firmly believes knowledge is power when it comes to being in control of one’s health. She spends her days at Friends Together helping others navigate their health care. Reach Lesslee via email at lesslee@friendstogethermi.org. Read her here the third Thursday of each month.