Darby Hinkley

This time of year, I like to tune my car radio to the Christmas station, which generally brightens or enhances my holiday mood.

However, if one of three songs comes on, I immediately change the station. Those songs are “Last Christmas,” “Frosty the Snowman,” and some ridiculous song about meeting your old lover in a grocery store and drinking beers with them in the car, then kissing, then going home to their spouses.

Let’s dissect these from last to first, as the last song I mentioned is the worst.

Why are we singing a sad song at Christmastime about someone we loved, and apparently still love, then going home to our married lives and pretending that’s not a thing? If you don’t like being married, and you want to be with grocery-store-beer-in-the-car dude, then just do it. Otherwise, say “Season’s Greetings” and get the heck back home to your husband. Boundaries, people. Boundaries.

I get that some people find it sweet, I guess. But if my husband met his ex-girlfriend and took like two hours to get eggnog because he was downing beers with her in a parking lot, you can bet that would get ugly real fast. Also, is no one concerned about the drunk driving part?

Moving on… “Frosty the Snowman.” Ugh. And an extra ugh for good measure. Let me explain. I worked retail for nearly eight years, and during that time, I heard more “Frosty the Snowman” than anyone should ever have to hear in their lifetime. Especially while being paid just over minimum wage, with dramatic women trying to return used handbags or flipping out if you don’t have those spiky heels in their size. And furthermore, if you think about the lyrics, he literally dies. He melts. It’s weird.

And here comes “Last Christmas.” We all know this one. “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special.” Why would that put me in a cheerful holiday mood? It sure doesn’t. It makes me wonder how bad you are at picking partners, and why you would sing a song to someone who sucks. I actually don’t mind the tune, though. It’s the lyrics that ruin it.

But, let’s end on a good note, shall we?

I’m a fan of most Christmas songs, especially the upbeat ones, like “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” although it is creepy that he sees you when you’re sleeping. I like to think of him as a nice old grandpa who peeks in through the doorway and peacefully wishes you sweet dreams as he watches you slumber.

My all-time favorite Christmas song is “What Child is This?” It’s beautiful. Can you imagine visiting the baby Lord Jesus? “The babe, the Son of Mary.” I remember as a little girl hearing this song in church and just being in awe. The tune is melodious and unique, and the lyrics make it so moving and powerful.

This Christmas, let’s enjoy the music, and focus on the birth of Christ. You have the power to change the station.

Darby Hinkley can be found driving around town, belting out Christmas carols. To reach her and/or amuse her, call 989-358-5691 and leave a message singing one of your favorite or least favorite Christmas songs.