Teach GOP a lesson at the polls

Come Heller high water …

∫ So, to recap the new GOP rules for the presidency: The sitting president CAN’T, if he’s a Democrat, appoint a Supreme Court judge in the last year or two of his or her term because we should “wait for the next election,” but the sitting president CAN, if he’s a Republican, using our tax dollars, coerce other governments into digging up dirt on his opponents — and, if you don’t like it, tough noogies. Wait for the next election and change it. I think we should take that as good advice. Remember this moment in November, people. Even if it’s raining or the polls show Democrats way ahead, show up. Vote. Screw them. Get angry and stay angry. Donate. Volunteer. If your Dem favorite isn’t nominated, suck it up, buttercup, and vote for the nominee, anyway. Don’t protest vote. Vote against the party that is trying to make this country a monarchy and that supports a person of Donald Trump’s character. Kick them out of the Senate. Kick them out of the White House. And keep them out until they again embrace heart, reason, and the rule of law. Republicanism, in its current, mutated form, is a disease. Be the cure.

∫ Mary Higgins Clark, the queen of suspense books, died of natural causes last week at the age of 92 … or did she?

∫ To treat coronavirus sufferers, China is building two massive new hospitals. That sounds like what happens in a pandemic movie, doesn’t it? Anything we should know, China? The American response would be to convene health insurance CEOs and see if there’s a way not to cover it.

∫ A newly hired Grand Valley State University football coach resigned last week shortly after telling the student newspaper that Hitler was the historical figure he’d most like to have dinner with. “You can’t deny he wasn’t a great leader,” he said. Aside from the double negative, wow, that’s a stunningly not-smart thing to say. Hey, Grand Valley, maybe make that a job interview question next time: “Which murderous dictator in history do you admire the most: a.) Hitler, b.) Stalin, c.) Vladimir Putin, or, d.) none of the above.” Actually, we should make that a screening question for presidential candidates, too. Guess who wouldn’t be smart enough to answer d?

∫ A new study says that, as sea levels rise, Americans on the coasts are going to start moving inland. Toward us. Listen, Californians, if you’re going to move here, you’re gonna have to adapt to our ways, not us to yours. I’m not eating avocado toast. I don’t want to hear any whining about where the sun is. It just doesn’t exist here, OK? And, yes, that’s as big as the waves get on Lake Michigan. Deal with it.

∫ Former Detroit Tigers outfielder Curtis Granderson retired last week. But why? At 39, he’s waaaay better than any outfielder on the Tigers’ roster. Don’t let him retire, Al Avila. Sign him!

∫ In my view, the Groundhog Day’s groundhog is a noble and highly intuitive creature if it forecasts an early spring. If not, well, kiss my grits, ya filthy little ground weasel.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” — Seneca


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