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What Dems can learn from Barry Sanders

Come Heller high water …

∫ I wish Democrats would follow the example of the great Barry Sanders and hand the ball to the ref when they score a touchdown, instead of acting like total …

∫ Have fun inserting the last word there. For the record, I was thinking “dipsticks.” How about you?

∫ I’m referring, of course, to the modest victories Dems won in Kentucky and Virginia. I realize Tuesday was one of the first electoral repudiations of Trumpism this year, and it could portend bigger things. But it could also not. Let’s keep that in mind, shall we?

∫ I miss Barry Sanders. And Al Kaline. And Vinnie Johnson. And Steve Yzerman. Seems like there are no giants in Detroit sports these days.

∫ Hey, Vinnie Johnson was TOO a giant. You try line-driving an arcless fall-away jump shot into a basket from 30 feet with a taller guy on you and three seconds on the game clock. Dude was a legend in my mind (I liked him way better than Isiah Thomas. Vinnie had style).

∫ But back to politics. What Trump did isn’t a quid pro quo. A quid pro quo can be benign in that it can be voluntary and mutually beneficial, as in “Hey, you did something for me, now I’ll do something for you.” What Trump did to Ukraine is straight up extortion. Extortion is never benign or voluntary. Ukraine had no real choice and would have complied.

∫ Mitch McConnell says Twitter’s ban on political ads will “degrade democracy” and “undermine free speech.” Uh-oh, I think someone had a little Russian bot campaign planned for his campaign. Bummer.

∫ How can we be talking about 5G internet speeds when Gs 1 through 4 don’t work all that well? All internet speeds seem the same to me: sometimes good, sometimes awful, and frequently meh.

∫ This is fun: Mexican drug cartels are apparently using $100 reciprocating saws to cut through Trump’s impregnable border wall. Shows how dumb they are. A $50 ladder would work just as well. Or a $10 shovel.

∫ The Trump administration is mulling privatizing the national parks. Great. Can’t wait to visit the Exxon Mobil Grand Canyon or Old Faithful, brought to you by Old Spice. How long before we see red MAGA caps on Mt. Rushmore? You laugh. I wouldn’t put it past him.

∫ Yay. Another milestone has been passed in the Christmas shopping season’s relentless march toward 24/7/365. This year, I saw Christmas commercials and store displays before Halloween. That means Labor Day is next. And then the Fourth of Noel.

∫ Sweet Lou Whitaker is a Top 10 all-time second baseman. Look at the stats and what his teams accomplished. If he doesn’t make the Hall of Fame, then it truly is just a Hall of Fame and not a hall that recognizes greatness.

∫ Michigan is the 11th-fattest state in America, according to a new study. That will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever been to a Golden Corral buffet or Walmart.

∫ I never trust those weight studies, though, because they’re usually based on the ridiculous Body Mass Index standard. I know the BMI is ridiculous, because it says I’m either obese or overweight, when I’m neither.

∫ No, I won’t tell you how much I weigh. How rude!

∫ We are bigger these days, though. Look at movies from the 50s or 60s. Everyone is skinny. Even the people who were considered fat then are skinnier than most of us are today.

∫ Usually, I’m against foods and drinks doing spin-off flavors. Oreos shouldn’t come with pumpkin filling. Coffee should taste like coffee, not (shudder) hazelnut. And Vanilla Coke is a crime against all that is good and holy. Taco toppings have no business on a pizza. BUT … I am intrigued by the new Cinnamon Coke, and plan to try it. Once. After which I’ll add it to my list of food abominations.

“If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” — Marcus Aurelius.