Do your actions and words, across all situations, align with the values, beliefs, and principles you claim to uphold?

If they do, then you have integrity. Throughout my continuous journey of self-improvement and growth, integrity is one of the areas I specifically focus on. Over the years, I have faced many situations where I was able to practice integrity, and many situations in which I learned where my integrity fell short and needed improvement. Admitting that I have had lapses in integrity is not easy, but I am willing to admit it because I believe in the value of discovering areas in which we need improvement and actively working to improve.

Integrity is not black and white. We all (most of us anyway) have some level of it, but the good news is that we can grow our integrity. Just like we can grow our leadership, emotional intelligence, kindness, positivity, and so many other positive behaviors.

My integrity often causes me to stand up for what I believe are injustices. Sometimes, that is harder than other times.

I was recently involved in a situation where I stood up for an injustice, and it ended up being a very challenging experience. It rented way too much real estate in my head and sapped too much energy for far too long.

But it also gave me an opportunity to spend additional time thinking about integrity, because I believe that is what the situation really boiled down to.

It didn’t make sense to me that even though I knew what I said and did was the right thing, I was going back and forth between feeling good about it, feeling bad about it, and mentally beating myself up about it. Was it because in the process I had made others feel attacked? Yes, there was some of that and I felt bad about it. Was it because I had put the spotlight on myself in a controversial way? Yes, there was certainly some of that. As much as I try not to care about what others think of me, I still do care. Was it because I was the only one standing against the injustice? No, that wasn’t it, because there were plenty of people who supported my position.

These things weren’t enough to justify why I was so consumed by, and feeling conflicted about, the situation. What was it that was bothering me so much?

And then I figured it out. It had to do with a mismatch of expectations of integrity. I was dealing with people who were not making decisions based on their values, but based instead on personal gain. We weren’t starting from the same place regarding the situation. It has never been OK with me when people do things for personal gain instead of because it is the right thing to do. In this case, it bothered me more than usual, and for far too long, until one day I realized something else, something that ultimately helped me let it go: I realized that I was dealing with people who truly did not believe there was anything unjust with the decision they made.

That experience reinforced a very important concept for me.

We cannot grow in positive ways until we are willing to take a hard look at where we are, with a willingness to own where we are, and then be willing to grow. We cannot develop integrity if we are steadfastly stuck to unhealthy values with a closed mind.

A second reminder that came from that experience is that we cannot control the words and behaviors of others. Standing up for what is right can mean sticking your neck out. It can put a target on your back. It can put you in a difficult place, where others may take sides, and the side they take may not be yours. But we must stand behind what we believe is right and realize that we can only control our own actions and words. It can be very challenging to allow ourselves to embrace that.

Integrity can be difficult, but also very rewarding, when your life is totally aligned with your values.

Having experienced how difficult it can be to practice integrity, I have a high level of respect for anyone who is willing to do what is right instead of doing what is in his or her own self interests.

You know if that’s you or not, and if it is you, know that you have the respect of myself and so many others. Thank you for doing what is right, as difficult as it may be at times.

Jackie Krawczak is president/CEO of the Alpena Area Chamber of Commerce. Her column runs biweekly on Thursdays. Follow Jackie on Twitter @jkrawczak.