How to meet a neighbor
In a traditional Hollywood film it is easy to predict how a neighbor will enter into the film. The majority of the time they walk over to box-filled porches with a plate of food as a welcoming gift. In a few films I have watched, specifically within the horror genre, neighbors are often seen as the eyes of the street and watch everything. The only time they enter the film is when they come over to tell the young couple to move out of the haunted house or to foreshadow that they are the ones who might kill them.
In a real-life scenario, it is farther from the Hollywood traditional scene than what others may believe. It has taken my husband and I quite a long time to meet our neighbors. Even though we have all seen each other every once in a while, a formal introduction was difficult to come by. I say “was” to emphasize as past tense because I was able to meet not one neighbor, but the entire family.
Within my introduction to my first column, I mentioned I tended to be awkward, yet unforgettable when it comes to introductions. I have, once again, another form of evidence that proves I have a gift for making myself memorable.
It was suppose to be a quick trip onto my porch to place a can of spray paint and Christmas lights on the side railing, but sadly it is still left from where my neighbors pushed it out of the way.
Who knew that one small turn would lead to a fall so loud and dramatic that it causes the neighbors from across the street to jump? To make things interesting, as they scurried over to stop me from crawling inside, the scene became a cross between a short comedy and a slight horror film. As the last bit of my dignity was left on the slippery boards, so was a new blood trail. If it wasn’t for the great amount of pain growing in my foot with every inch of swelling and bruising forming, I more than likely would have laughed the pain away. Sadly, I could not during this incident.
I managed to not only severely bruise my foot all the way to the bone, but I also managed to slice it open for extra measure. This happened last week, but I still tell myself that I was an actor and it was ketchup. It is all I can do from passing out at this point.
My dear neighbors had to witness this horrific scene. Luckily, they were able to get it cleaned and iced before I could even let out a cry that was suppose to be a form of a hello. It wasn’t until we were all inside trying desperately to call my husband to come home from work that we realized we were becoming friends without names.
We were already onto the topic of our plans for the future by the time we reached the emergency room. We knew everything from where we came from to where we are heading. It was quite the introduction and lasted for a little over an hour as I waited for an x-ray. Sadly, with all introductions and meeting new friends, we had to split ways. Thankfully I did not break anything other than the slight bit of hope I had that maybe I was not clumsy as much as I thought I was.
So if you are finding yourself in a situation where you still have yet to get to know the stranger living next to you, take a trip to the emergency room together. Just make sure to hobble on over the next day with that plate of cookies.
Hannah Hobbs is a millenial, a wife and a college student living in Hubbard Lake. Her column will appear bi-weekly on Saturday.