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Of Twitter, Chuck Barris and Sears

Come Heller high water …

∫ Happy birthday to Twitter, which turned 11 this week. It seems like only yesterday when people kept their meaningless thoughts to themselves, doesn’t it?

∫ I will say this for Twitter, though. It’s still fun to see grown adults semi-cringe when they have to use the semi-silly term “tweet.”

∫ Chuck Barris, the host of “The Gong Show,” died this week. (If you’re under the age of 50, ask your parents who he is.) If his funeral service doesn’t include someone doing Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine’s shuffle and The Unknown Comic’s bawdy, awful jokes, well, that’s just not a fitting tribute. You had to be there to have gotten it, but I thought “The Gong Show” was a great, kitschy parody of “real” talent contests, and Barris was the ultimate anti-host. It was so much more fun than “American Idol,” which takes itself way too seriously. Someone bang a gong slowly.

∫ Sears stores in Michigan may close. Well, why not — every other big box store is going under. I like online shopping as much as the next guy, but I’ll miss stores when they’re all gone. I like to touch and see, in 3D, the stuff I’m buying.

∫ A new study says the number of millionaire households in America increased by 400,000 last year. So there’s at least that many who will be able to afford health insurance after Obamacare goes away.

∫ Can we please, please, please be done with “That moment” comments online, as in “That moment when you realize ‘that moment’ comments are driving you nuts.”

∫ Best line on Facebook I’ve seen in a long time: “Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?”

∫ A few weeks ago I offered perfectly ridiculous suggestions for ridding the Great Lakes of Asian carp if they invade. And of course, readers offered even more ridiculous ones. My favorite: “If ever there were an example of our need for border control, this is it! Build a wall! Make America Great Again. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. And, yes, we should make the carp pay for it, too.

∫ Videos are out of control on news websites. I can have three video clips running on the same page. Ridiculous. The more I read and watch news online, the more I miss newspapers, magazines and TV.

∫ If you have a young daughter, you may have noticed an explosion of princess merchandise in recent years, owing to the “Frozen” phenomenon. Author Peggy Orenstein noticed, too. She calls it “the princess industrial complex” and says it is contributing to the “self-objectification” and “self-sexualization” of girls. I have no idea if she’s right — my daughter is long since grown. But it’s an interesting point. What say you, parents: Yes or no?

∫ A 17-year-old in West Virginia used Kanye West lyrics to build the world’s first ever robot that can rap. So there’s one more thing to hate about West Virginia.

∫ “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” — Marcus Aurelius.

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