Jackie Krawczak

There are plenty of factors that cause people to communicate differently. Generational differences are the most common one that we blame for ineffective communication but there are others. What is interesting, though, is that when you look at the solutions to interpersonal communication problems, the solutions apply no matter what the factors, generational or other, that are causing the differences.

The best practices for competent communication don’t care what generations are involved in the communication. The best practices tend to work across the generational spread and other communication differences.

Differences in communication, especially generational, happen mostly because of changes (I hesitate to refer to all changes as advancements) in technology.

The majority of those in the traditionalist generation (born before 1946) are going to feel most comfortable with face-to-face or telephone communication because that’s what they learned and know the most about. They did not have other easily accessible options.

And it makes sense that those in Generation Z (born between 1997 and 2012) prefer communicating through social media, messaging apps, and video platforms. It’s what they became most familiar with in their most formative years.

People often like to blame generational differences for poor communication but I’m here to tell you that the causes of poor communication don’t matter nearly as much to the solutions as we often think.

If you remember and internalize the following four things when communicating, you can overcome common differences and experience more effective communication more often in all relationships including work and personal.

Remember that the meaning of a message is with the receiver. Therefore, the sender of the communication should do their best to make sure the receiver is receiving the intended meaning of the message. Simply asking if someone understands is not enough because receivers of communication always understand the message in the way they interpret it. What we forget is that the way someone interprets our message may not be the message we intended to send. Instead of asking if they understand, ask them to tell you what their key takeaways are from the message, or ask them to repeat your message to you in their own words.

Communication should be as direct as possible. Language can be very abstract. If I said that I live far from you, how far do I live? The meaning of far depends on the situation, including who is involved in the conversation. I could say I live far from someone who lives in the same county as me if I am talking about walking to their house. I could say I live far

from someone who lives where I can only get on a flight to visit them. In both cases, the sentence makes sense, but it can certainly be misunderstood. Use concrete and direct language as often as possible to avoid these misunderstandings due to abstraction.

Match your actions with your words. Leave no room for error of assumption. If you tell someone you want to spend time with them but then never make time for them, you are sending mixed communication. If you talk about how important a clean and organized space is to you, but your space is messy and cluttered, you are sending mixed messages. Mixed communication is complicated and leaves communication open for interpretation, causing stress and frustration.

Do not underestimate the influence of personal experiences on communication. Use empathy in communication. We all come from different backgrounds and experiences, even from day-to-day. Understanding how that influences our communication and the communication of others can help create effective communication. I attended a presentation delivered by a state governor year ago. It was shortly after my sister had been killed in a drunk driving accident. The governor was talking about roads and used a joke about drunk drivers. I was angry. I realized, though, that a drunk driving joke, although tasteless no matter your experience, likely had a different impact on me than it did on others in the room. It’s important to consider those influences when we are communicating so we react in appropriate ways. I did not stand up during that presentation and state my displeasure. Instead, I waited until I calmed down and could send a private message.

Communication is a massive field of study. These are just four common things we can do to develop better and more effective communication, and these are things we can do no matter the generations or other differences causing the ineffective communication. Communication truly is the foundation of successful and meaningful relationships so it is worth it, in my opinion, to adopt some insight and communicate with intention.