Doug Pugh

Carole, “Neuts,” Ellery’s older sister Joyce, informed her that the Virgin Mary was to appear in their front yard at 5:00 p.m. that afternoon. Neuts passed this information on to us, her early elementary-aged neighborhood chums.

My home was a half block from the appearance site on the opposite side of the street, far enough away to provide a buffer but close enough for a good view of the anticipated visitation. We took a position behind a large Maple tree in my folks’ front yard.

Five o’clock came and passed with no appearance, but patience was merited, so we hunkered down; more minutes passed, still nothing. At 5:30, we abandon our watch — we had to be home for supper– no exceptions!

I imagine Joyce took great pleasure in our full-on response to her diversion. She was probably motivated by the desire for a good laugh, but it could have been a need to distract, or payback for some earlier infraction.

Diversionary tactics come with various motivations.

It was not the first time we had been fooled.

Earlier, another one of our neighborhood’s older kids — Howard Horton — approached us with a question: “How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?” he asked. He told us the question was a school assignment beyond his powers of contemplation. “Could we help?”

We were indebted to Howard for giving us a heads-up about our recurring entry into the crawl space beneath his parents’ house. That space’s fiberboard entrance cover was often blown ajar, allowing us access and the satisfaction of a recurring need to hide.

But Howard advised us there was a “Boogeyman” down there, and that we should be on guard. That Boogeyman could “get us,” Howard said.

In appreciation for this timely information, we thought the least we could do was help Howard with his angel problem.

Despite our youth, we were proficient with large numbers. Unlike the famous physicist Freeman Dyson, who, at the age of 4, tried but failed to calculate the number of atoms in the sun, we successfully determined winning scores in various games we played and analyzed baseball players’ performance statistics from bubble-gum cards.

We considered several formidable angel numbers, but settled on a “quad-zillion.” We were under the impression it was the largest number that could ever be — beyond even our imaginations.

Life, a progression of awarenesses, involves increasingly complex questions whose answers can be elusive, but there are contrived questions that have no answers.

The angel/pin inquiry is of the latter variety. Having no factually determinable resolution, it is ultimately a futile endeavor. Unknowns and untruths are the usual predicates of these questions, posed to divert attention from more serious concerns.

For us kids, those more serious concerns revolved around figuring out how Tarzan could rescue Jane from the threat posed in the latest serial segment at the Lyric Theatre.

But there are questions designed to deflect attention from issues of greater significance than those posed in a Tarzan movie script, and such questions are being directed at us adults.

Consider these:

Repeated questioning of past elections, though they were canvassed, audited, adjudicated, and accepted as final.

Assertions questioning diversity, the foundation of our nation’s strength, as a form of weakness.

Questions whose answers promote “Alternative facts.”

Inquiries deflecting attention from the obscenities that continue to ooze from the Epstein files.

Criticizing criticism when it is fundamental to democratic order.

Casting doubt on vaccines whose efficacy has cured diseases that have plagued humanity for generations.

Questioning reasonable regulation of the internet by asserting that it is a threat to the freedom of speech, when the real threat is part of its content–the lies, hate, and filth that are trapping us in our theater seats with a fire in the aisle and the exits blocked.

Then there is this: “Is Elmo a member of the Communist Party?”

All are perversions, seeking deflections.

Don’t allow these misrepresentations to cause you to be late for supper or waste your time standing behind a tree.

Recognize them for what they are: attempts to divert attention from what is essential and, in that process, make fools of us.