Christmas brings with it the remembrance of things from the past. Usually, enhanced thoughts and feelings of Christmas celebrations of childhood easily come. The wonder and awe of the beauty of lit Nativity scenes and marvelously decorated trees on Christmas Eve that awaited the presence of the infant Jesus and presents under the tree, were part of my childhood. I remember my newborn sister, only three weeks old, being carefully placed by my mother under the tree in a red and white outfit, complete with a Santa hat. My memories of Christmas are exhaustive and wonderful, fondly remembered now that I am much older.

I would like to think, although I don’t have studied scientific data to support my thesis, that memory by and large is of good things. Even when trauma has been part of a person’s past, it is the good stuff that comes forth to soothe our present. Indeed, in everyone’s life there is a degree of pain. Childbirth and adolescent growing pains were no picnics, and even a rare and deserved spanking was hurtful. But the specifics are not recalled and truly have faded from memory. Again, the detailed memory of sight, smell, and sound are of the good things. I even remember the taste and location of a great meal, especially of the sweet dessert.

The inverse is true as well, that is bad memories are usually lost and don’t burden our present nearly as much. Several priests have even told me that reflecting on the Sacrament of Confession/Reconciliation the Spirit of God erases sins told them immediately after the blessing of forgiveness is imparted. What a wonderful gift, indeed.

Bad memories are there, however, waiting to continue the pain of the event of the past that created them in the first place, if we choose to let them. God, however, created the mind to ‘follow the path of least resistance’; to remember the good things and forget about the bad. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 It takes much more energy to bring up bad things of the past and bring to the fore a renewed pain. We then reel in waves of anger and are immersed once again in the wrong.

Usually, the worst pain involves another person, and how the other has hurt us unjustly. But Jesus, once again, comes to the rescue, how many times do I need to forgive? Not just seven times, but seventy times seven times. Matthew 18:21-22 Indeed, a mindset of limitless forgiveness and love which is freeing is offered as a remedy. We are called to be just like God, and to think as He thinks. Mattew 16:21-27. ‘Forgive and forget’? Maybe. Let us not be drawn, pulled, or tempted to dwell on bad memories but rather let us breathe the free air and forgive one another. Let us remember the good memories of another and forgive the bad. It’s easier!