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I recently made a large pot of homemade tomato sauce from a beautiful gift of fresh tomatoes. These were some gorgeous tomatoes!
As I happily shocked the tomatoes to easily remove their skins, I was amazed at how easy they peeled and how firm and fresh they were. To the peeled tomatoes I added freshly grown basil, thyme, rosemary, oregano, and parsley. The tomatoes cooked down to a beautiful sauce and the aroma in the house as they simmered on the stove was heavenly. It was a very satisfying and wonderful feeling to create something I could enjoy and share.
Yet, as I watched the simmering sauce an odd annoyance overcame me. The tiny little bubbles rose to the top of the sauce and seemed to pop in slow motion. Each minor explosion brought with it a bit of sputtering sauce. While most of the sauce stayed in the pot, some spilled out onto nearby surfaces. That is when I realized, the sauce reminded me of how I sometimes feel. My emotions can be so tightly held that they simmer under the surface until little explosive pops splatter bits of emotion all over others.
It was as though I was watching the sauce imitate how I feel inside. Curious, I immediately talked it through in my head while scribbling notes on paper. As my notes took shape, I realized I have anger simmering within me, just beneath the surface. So many changes have happened in the world lately. We are actively living through historical events. Perhaps I am not adjusting as smoothly as I think I am.
I learned there are many common triggers for anger. Injustice, stress, financial issues, family or personal problems, traumatic events, feeling unheard or undervalued, hunger, chronic pain, fear or panic are just a few catalysts. Most of us can certainly relate to one or more of these triggers.
My trigger was multifold. Top of my list are people I love who are dealing with serious health issues (and all the ancillary issues that come with illness), social media seems to be beating me down with negative talk that seems to only be interested in accusations and blame, and then there's the fact that I've been attacked by unleashed dogs several times this summer, making my walks less than comfortable. None of these things occurred because of anything I did to instigate them. Yet they impact me and build up.
It was like the fable highlighted in the book "Who Moved My Cheese?" As the story goes, four characters live in a maze and they all love cheese. When the cheese disappears, two of them, Scurry and Sniff, enthusiastically head out into the maze to find new cheese. No problem for them, they adapted quickly.
They adjusted to the situation and moved along. The other two, Hem and Hall, felt betrayed and complained. They didn't respond to change well and spent their time and energy hoping the old cheese would return. Hall realizes the old cheese likely won't return so he sets out into the maze in search for new cheese. He's adapted and decides to take back control and even writes what he learns on the walls, hoping that Hem will follow him. Eventually, Hall discovers new cheese.
Cheese is the metaphor for what you want to have in life and how outside forces can alter our piece of the world. It could be a good job, loving relationship, health, or any number of situations or things. The core message is this: change is constant, often without our input, so we must choose to adapt or spend our days lamenting the change. The quicker we adapt and adjust, the more satisfied we will be. It is really more of a personal choice. Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? I want to be the person who positively adjusts to the new circumstance, thereby reframing my world, thoughts, and actions to meet my needs. I want to positively move forward, progressing to my ideal.
My daughter just gifted me some beautiful sleek dark green zucchini. I wonder what I'll learn from them.
Lesslee Dort is a board-certified patient advocate who firmly believes knowledge is power when it comes to being in control of one's health. She spends her days helping others navigate their healt hcare and her free time exploring. Reach Lesslee via email at lesslee@friendstogethermi.org. Read her here the third Thursday of each month.