Raise your hand if you have a bucket list. A survey conducted by Stanford University School of Medicine found that over 90% of participants had a bucket list.

The term bucket list became commonplace following a movie written by Justin Zackham in 1999. The movie, Bucket List, starring Jack Nickolson and Morgan Freeman, featured two men, strangers really, who meet in a hospital room. They share a need to come to terms with who they are, what they have done with their lives, and a desire to complete a list of things they want to see and do before they die, their bucket list.

Today’s bucket list tends to be a list of dream adventures, accomplishments, and goals. An almost unattainable list of wishes only a fairy godmother could grant, often causing people to feel ungrateful for what they have in the present. Depending on one’s point of view, a bucket list item could be, take a ride in spaceship, visit every country, or win the lottery. In other words, what was once supposed to be a tool to inspire turned into a document that overwhelms. It serves as a reminder of what we haven’t accomplished.

Think about it for a minute. How many of the items on your bucket list would bring you true joy and fulfillment? Before you answer that question, hold up the mirror of mortality. Now, which of the things on your bucket list are really how you’d want to spend your last moments? If you were given the gift to know when your life would end, would you work to carry out any of the items listed? When push comes to shove, and you are forced to make time count, what would you select as your last experiences and memories? The lofty goals that can appear on bucket lists often require copious amounts of money to secure, which many do not have access to, making the list forever unattainable. Rather than fill you with happiness, they just might fill you with feelings of regret, unworthiness, and sorrow.

(Spoiler Alert) At the end of the movie, the men realize family, friends and faith are more worthwhile than all the money in the world. That they realized this before their life was over was cause for celebration. But coming to this realization late was also unfortunate. How many enriching opportunities passed them by because their attention was otherwise engaged?

My daughter inadvertently reminded me that many of us set our sights too high. From our bucket list to our daily goals, we often miss the mark of what is real and achievable, meaningful and rewarding. She recently bought her first house. Until now, she’s lived in an apartment. The other day, she said something that took me by surprise. She has never had somewhere to place outgoing mail. It seems like such a small thing. Yet, she’s always needed to travel to find a USPS collection box or post office. Now she has a mailbox complete with postal delivery and pick up right at her home.

Her elation at how one can simply put mail in the box and raise a flag to alert the postal carrier there is outgoing mail was heartwarming. But not as much as when she described the pure joy of seeing the flag lowered, indicating her mail was sent, and any new mail was delivered. All from the convenience of her home. All without the need to get in her car and weave through miles of traffic to simply mail a note.

The wonder of the mailbox and other conveniences of the world we live in are often blurred from consistent use. They become commonplace and invisible. We forget how amazing it is to have indoor plumbing, electricity that powers our appliances, and heat that keeps us warm at the turn of a dial. It wasn’t so long ago that these modern-day conveniences weren’t commonplace.

Rather than focus on what we want to accomplish, what if we wrote out an anti- or reverse bucket list?

Review all those lofty ambitions you have. Then, with a critical eye, cross off those that are there for show. It’s okay to keep a couple realistic, motivating goals, but not the empty ones that you feel you should have. Instead, list what’s been accomplished. A reverse bucket list is a list of realistic goals that focuses on past accomplishments and experiences to help you find gratitude and purpose in your life. It’s like a traditional bucket list, but instead of looking forward, it looks back for the purpose of reminding us how far we’ve come and how much we have accomplished. The reverse bucket list is an encouraging exercise that helps us feel proud of ourselves.

Grateful recounting has been shown to enhance a person’s overall well-being. Start today. Stop focusing only on what you haven’t done and start appreciating what you have.

Lesslee Dort, a native of northeast Michigan, is drawn to the outdoors to restore balance. A board-certified patient advocate, Lesslee firmly believes knowledge is power and learning is constant. She is always willing to help others help themselves. Reach Lesslee via email – regardingthejourney@lesslee.com. Read her here the third Thursday of each month.