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When on vacation, I sometimes dream of running away. Wouldn't it be wonderful to just stay in this holiday fantasy world, pick up the real estate ads, buy my perfect new home and not look back? Begin afresh. No one knows me. A brand-new slate.
When in this pleasantly unreal state, it never occurs to me that if I moved to any of these vacation locations I would no longer actually be on vacation; all the challenges, the chores, and many (if not more) headaches would transfer with me because I cannot leave myself behind.
I knew I should feel refreshed and rejuvenated after time away. Yet, despite my efforts, I would simply want to cry during the last part of vacation. I thought I was hiding my feelings from others. I was wrong. When I realized that my reaction to end-of-vacation was hurting those I love, I quickly understood it was time to work on this part of myself. I took control.
You may think I have a troubled or difficult life. Quite the contrary. I have a good life. So, I first needed to understand why I felt like I did as I prepared to come back home. Of all the articles I've ever read on this topic, most pointed to changing the dysfunctional or damaging portions of one's life. After some consideration, I realized I, alone, was causing the problem.
I needed to learn that I ultimately control the demands of my time and the business of my daily life. I could choose how much to put on my plate.
We exercise our freedom when on vacation. We do what we want, even if it's nothing. We change our behaviors when on vacation. We often become less rigid and less routine-based. We say no to things that displease us. We actively pursue enjoyable activities. We are active. We decide. Our sleep is less troubled.
Re-entry blues materialize when these seemingly free days come to an end and life no longer feels like our own. We intimately feel the loss of control starting once again.
If you suffer from re-entry issues, please try to find a lasting solution. Don't let this condition steal your ability to absorb the full benefits of a good getaway or negatively impact your relationships with others.
I eventually found relief from the busyness of life by implementing a few straightforward pretrip preparation tasks and post-trip mindfulness techniques. They may work for you.
¯ Clean the house and your workspace before you go. Just straighten up, don't come home to a mess. Organize your work week schedule for your anticipated return before you leave. That way, when you return, you are not overly burdened and have a comfortable place to rest after work.
¯ Build in time to breathe. Somewhere along the way, our culture/society started rewarding productivity for productivity's sake. The problem doesn't necessarily lie there. I believe it is in how we define productivity. It isn't just getting stuff done. You are being productive when you allow your body, mind, and soul to recharge. It may seem like passive productivity, but it's critical to health.
¯ Stop shining a light on only the stressors and less desirable situations in your life -- they are not the entirety of your story. There are positives within your moments. Concentrate on the good in your life; fix the rest. Vow to release or rework the parts of your life that are stressful. Many are self-imposed and therefore can be removed from your life at your say.
¯ Flip your focus. If you start to feel blue as vacation nears the end, start celebrating how well you were able to unplug and fully immerse yourself during your time away. Celebrate how successfully you detached and recharged. Jot down the special moments to remind yourself later. Caption pictures. Discuss with yourself or your partner takeaways from the trip, things you've learned, and aspects of yourself you've discovered.
¯ Manage expectations upon return, take it easy on yourself and others. Mentally prepare and remind yourself that for the first few days you'll be ramping back up to speed. But in no time, if you choose to, you can be back into your normal busy hectic life with fresh fuel from your rest.
Re-entry issues occur less often now. And if I employ the techniques I know work for me, I snap out of it and back into the joy of the moment. It is easier each time. Try not to give up your vacation days before you need to.
Lesslee Dort is a board-certified patient advocate who firmly believes knowledge is power when it comes to being in control of one's health. She spends her days at Friends Together helping others navigate their health care. Reach Lesslee via email at lesslee@friendstogethermi.org. Read her here the third Thursday of each month.