ALPENA — Hope Shores Alliance is asking our community to share in honoring National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month this February.   Teen dating violence affects millions of teens in the U.S. each year. 

Nearly 1 in 11 female teens and about 1 in 15 male high school students report having experienced physical dating violence in the last year, according to the Centers for Disease Control’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey.  

Most people understand that it’s not okay for someone to hit their partner but dating violence can take many forms such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, technological abuse, or social abuse. Signs of emotional abuse include control (example: if your partner won’t let you see friends), manipulation (example: if your partner threatens to hurt themselves if you don’t give them attention), or gaslighting (example: if your partner dismisses or invalidates your feelings) (oweyoudaily.com/culture/outsourced). Perpetrators of dating violence use strategies and tactics to establish power and control over their victim and oftentimes work to isolate them from their friends, family, and support persons.

Unhealthy, abusive, or violent relationships can have short and long-term negative effects on a developing teen. For instance, youth who are victims of teen dating violence are more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety, engage in unhealthy behaviors, like using tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, exhibit antisocial behaviors like lying, theft, bullying or hitting, and consider suicide. (Data from CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey) 

Dating violence can take place both in person and electronically. Indicators could include repeated texting/calling/social media contact or posting sexual pictures of a partner online without their consent. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like jealousy, teasing, and name-calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship — but these behaviors can become abusive and develop into serious forms of violence. Oftentimes, however, many teens do not report unhealthy behaviors because they are afraid to tell family and friends. (cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/tdv-factsheet.pdf) 

Supporting the development of healthy, respectful, and nonviolent relationships has the potential to reduce the occurrence of TDV and prevent its harmful and long-lasting effects on individuals, their support persons, and the communities where they live. During the pre-teen and teen years, it is critical for youth to begin to learn the skills needed — such as effectively managing feelings and using healthy communication to define and maintain personal boundaries — to create and foster healthy relationships. (cdc.gov/violenceprevention/datingmatters) 

If a teen in your life approaches you about concerns in their relationship, the best thing to do is to believe them, support them, and validate their experiences. Teens deserve to know that they are being taken seriously and are not alone in this. It’s important to communicate to them that they have access to resources and support around the abuse they are experiencing.

This year, Hope Shores Alliance is bringing a focus on education about this type of violence in our communities. This February, Hope Shores Alliance is partnering with schools in Alcona, Alpena, Iosco, Montmorency and Presque Isle counties to distribute awareness materials about Teen Dating Violence. Throughout the month, Hope Shores Alliance will join communities across the country to honor the survivors of violence who continue to fight every day for their freedom, remember the victims who were lost to violence, celebrate the continued progress advocates have made over the years to hold perpetrators accountable and support survivors, and unite with our community to end violence.  

Hope Shores Alliance provides support for those experiencing Teen Dating Violence through its 24-Hour Help and Support Line at 800-396-9129, advocacy and support, counseling, and supportive listening. Offices in Atlanta, Rogers City, Alpena, and Oscoda remain open and both telecommunications and in-person services are offered.  

 For more information, or to find out how you can help, please call Hope Shores Alliance at 989-356-2560.