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Become the Powerful Force in Your Life

Striving to be better without acknowledging your journey diminishes the respect you deserve. Recognize what you are going through and who you are in the moment. Identify your pain and then move along. Does life sometimes seem hard to manage? Are you tired of being ‘less than’ you think you should be? Are you scared of what you think comes next? Listen to some advice from The Lord of the Rings’ hobbit Pippin, “Waiting on the edge of a battle I can’t escape is worse than being in a battle.”

Every day I meet and instantly care about a multitude of people. Cancer is alive and kicking in northeast Michigan, have no doubt. Every day I meet people who are kicking back in the best possible way. I am in the unique position of meeting people at their most genuine, truest selves. What a gift my days are! Yet, there is so much sadness and turmoil in our communities. Regardless of the hardship you are working through, asking for help is hard. Even thinking of asking for help can be daunting. It can seem harder than the actual battle.

If someone had called me brave when I was diagnosed in 2001, I would have brushed off the comment. Bravery isn’t the word I’d have used. I was simply doing what I needed to do to live. Living in the face of fear to be sure, but still taking the steps to overcome and go beyond. My courage, however, was displayed when I allowed a select few in on my truth. Asking for help was absolutely worse than the effects of the disease. I was at the mercy of others for almost three full years. I felt like a dog must when it rolls over and shows its belly. It’s a vulnerable position. We are saying, “Here I am, please be gentle.” When we expose ourselves and our vulnerabilities, it is impossible to adequately protect ourselves. We are, in essence, standing on trust that we will be treated with respect, kindness and compassion and not kicked when we’re down.

Each person experiences something beyond what they could have imagined. Cancer is just one example. Yet, with the skills they have accumulated, they are required to handle what comes next. If chemo or radiation are next, they take a deep breath and walk forward. It is what they need to do to be cured. They believe they will come out the other side healed and back to their old self. They have hope that whatever is wrong in their body will be destroyed. Always in the back of their mind is the image of who they were. The common goal is to be better.

We all want to get better in some way: better job, better health, better body, better relationship. My question is better than what? Who we are or who we were?

Each and every day brings change. We grow. We experience new ideas. We ever so slightly change. The power remains within us, always. Who we are and what we choose is entirely up to us.

What happens to us is less important than how we respond. We simply cannot control everything that happens to us. We can, however, control the way we respond to events. In our response is our power. When we take control of our thoughts and behaviors we are no longer at the mercy of events. Or, as Leo Buscaglia has said, “We are no longer puppets being manipulated by outside powerful forces: we become the powerful force ourselves.”

My suggestion is to love the person you are today — in this moment. Regardless of the physical feats you can accomplish or the things you can afford to buy. Rather than compare to a past version of you, embrace and support the person you are right now. Each of us is capable of so much more than we imagine. It is surprising how we can rise to a challenging situation and move through it. There are so many ways to live life. Why do we limit ourselves to only see the one with which we are familiar? Are we scared to move beyond it or simply stuck in the known? We are each one choice away from being better.

I am a nut when it comes to personal responsibility. And while it is true we have horrible things happen to us we must remember who we are in the moments. We may not have asked for the terrible awful thing, but there it is, part of our story. Take time to breathe, gather your supportive forces and make your next move.

No, you say? You’d rather wallow in your own self-pity and fear. Ok. Do that. Get it out. Unpack it. BUT DON’T STAY THERE! Remember who you are and who you want to be. Remember you add value to this world. Just because you exist positively affects someone else’s life.

Make the choice to fight for the best you.

Lesslee Dort, an Alpena native, is a board certified patient advocate who firmly believes knowledge is power when it comes to being in control of one’s health. She spends her days helping others navigate their healthcare and her free time exploring. Reach Lesslee via email lesslee@friendstogethermi.org. Read her here the third Thursday of each month.

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