Darby Hinkley

My late dad gave me a sign that has hung for several years in my kitchen.

It states, “People may forget what you said or what you did, but not how you made them feel.”

Versions of this sentiment have been attributed to Maya Angelou, but a version of it appeared in a 1971 book by Carl W. Buehner, a high-ranking Mormon church official.

At any rate, that quote resonates with me.

Another thing my dad taught me was, “Every interaction is holy.”

Imagine that God is watching, because He is. But, even if you don’t believe in God, you can agree that there’s something special in a human relationship of any kind, be it spousal, parental, otherwise familial, friendal (is that a word?).

I’d better stop making up words and just say that, any time you interact with another human, you have a choice. You can decide to lift that person up or drag them down.

I do not believe in neutral interactions. Each day, countless times per day, you decide whether to smile and be patient with whomever you are interacting with — in person, online, over the phone, however you interact.

I think our obsession with blasting our opinions all over the internet, no matter how hurtful or rude they may be, is pathetic. Have we forgotten how to be human? Have we forgotten that on the other side of that computer screen is a living, breathing, thinking, FEELING person who may be negatively impacted by our thoughtless rants? Why does that not matter to some people?

Every day, we interact via text, phone, email, social media, and in person (my preferred method) with many people, some more than others, depending on the nature of their profession.

Why not make someone smile? Why not be the relief in their day, instead of just another pressure crashing down on them?

We all have bad days, but we do not have the right to take our negative emotions out on everyone around us. That’s childish. Throwing tantrums because someone disagrees with our opinion does not accomplish anything positive.

I encourage you to “be the bigger person” or “take the high road” in your challenging interactions.

For example, if you receive a phone or cable bill with new charges on it, don’t angrily call up the customer service line just to yell at someone. It’s not their fault. Wait until you’re in a stable mood, dial the number, and calmly explain why you’re calling, and that you believe the charges should be removed.

This requires patience, which seems to be a dwindling commodity these days. We want everything NOW, NOW, NOW!

Remember, the world doesn’t revolve around you. This is something we try to teach our children. If you shift your mindset to an others-centric platform, you begin to see the world more clearly.

I’m not saying we should ignore how WE feel. Self-care is an important aspect of a healthy life.

When someone does or says something that irritates us, or makes us feel hurt or sad, we can decide what to do with that information. Do we stoop to their level and lash back with a knee-jerk reaction, or do we take some time to think, and then choose whether to respond at all?

Unfortunately, some people just do not care how others feel, but we do not need to match their negative energy. We can rise above and remain civil and respectful. We need to realize that we may not change the opinions of others, but we can certainly listen to their concerns (without interrupting) and the conclusion may be just to agree to disagree.

People who differ in opinions have been walking this Earth from the beginning of time. Some have taken their need to control others to a war-causing level, but they are missing out on valuable opportunities to learn and appreciate our differences and still remain civil.

With the onset of the internet, social media, and artificial intelligence, the world is changing at lightning speed. Instead of getting caught up with who’s mad at who and who said what on social media, I would encourage you to pull back from those platforms and take a moment to decide what kind of person you want to be.

Do you want to be someone that others look forward to being around? Or do you want to be the kind of person that others try their best to avoid, for fear that you will only cause disruption and unrest?

I really don’t understand the end game for those who choose the latter. At the end of the day, YOU will benefit greatly from being kind and respectful to others. YOU will experience peace, knowing that you have followed the golden rule.

On the flip side, if you choose to stir up dissension, YOU will struggle to find peace yourself, so you’re doing a disservice not only to those around you, but to yourself.

As you go about your days, remember that you have a choice in absolutely every interaction. I urge you to choose the peaceful path, and enjoy the benefits.

Darby Hinkley is Lifestyles editor at The News. Reach her at dhinkley@thealpenanews.com, or call 989-358-5691.