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Consultant efffect, Nestle neglect

Come Heller high water…

∫ I can always smell the aroma of consultants when it comes to media. What they’ve ruined most recently are sports highlight shows, which now, as if by law, have to include loud, thumping music during highlights, loud, obnoxious ex-jocks hee-hawing about the highlights, female hosts inexplicably wearing nightclub dresses wandering around cavernous sets while they introduce the highlights, and fake miniature sports fields where even more ex-jocks explain various jock techniques that we really didn’t need to know or care about. All that, and yet I just wanna know who won the Tigers game. I’m not anti-internet, but I sure do miss TV, radio and newspapers the way they used to be. Am I the only one?

∫ I’m still steaming about the state giving away groundwater to Nestle for its Ice Mountain brand (which I’ll never buy again) while cutting off bottle water for Flint. A meme about Nestle popped up on my Facebook that quoted former CEO Peter Brabeck-Letmathe saying water isn’t a human right. But did he really say that? I consulted my favorite meme-busting site, Snopes, for an answer, and it said no. But what he did say was maybe even worse. In a 2005 documentary, he said: “Water is, of course, the most important raw material we have today in the world. It’s a question of whether we should privatize the normal water supply for the population. And there are two different opinions on the matter. The one opinion, which I think is extreme, is represented by the NGOs, who bang on about declaring water a public right. That means that as a human being you should have a right to water. That’s an extreme solution. The other view says that water is a foodstuff like any other, and like any other foodstuff it should have a market value. Personally, I believe it’s better to give a foodstuff a value so that we’re all aware it has its price.” Now I hate Nestle even more.

∫ A new state law requires motorists to treat darkened traffic signals as 4-way stops. Wait, that wasn’t a law already?

∫ I told you months ago that I’d noticed a few people adding the word “right?” to the end of sentences, as if to cement your agreement in advance with what they said. Now everybody does it, right? And it’s annoying, right? Of course it is, right? So why do we keep doing it?

∫ A verbal tic I’m trying to vanquish is saying “tuh” instead of to. A lot of people do this and once you notice, you can’t stop noticing. At least I can’t. I find myself — out loud — correcting people on TV who do it, which annoys the heck out of the lovely yet formidable Marcia, who usually tries to annoy me back by saying “Are you going tuh stop that?” She’s a bit of a wiseacre.

∫ Remember that “Saturday Night Live” recurring skit “Deep Thoughts”? If it were still around, I’d submit “How did beef ever become a word for cow? Or pork for pig? Or venison for deer? Are we squeamish and can’t call things what they are? If so, why do we still call chicken chicken?”

∫ Speaking of which, the older I get the less meat I eat. Why, I’m not sure. I’ve always liked tofu as an alternative, though. I think I’m one of the few who doesn’t mind the stuff. It’s such a neutral taste, it really just ends up tasting like the sauce you put on it. Another meat alternative I tried this year is Beyond Meat, which actually tastes (more or less) like chicken and ground beef. I found it in Meijer, so it’s pretty available. You’re welcome.

∫ “Stop running to those who ignore you and start running to those who adore you.” — Joseph Simmons.

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