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HQ = Happiness Quotient

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.

More than once, we’ve mentioned how busy lives and hectic schedules tend to dominate our day to day. If we’re not running around from doing more and trying to be more than it seems our parents ever did, we’re making plans for the next thing or being volunteered for an upcoming whatever. Maybe our memories as kids make us oblivious to how involved our parents really were, but it seems like this generation of thirty/forty/fifty-something parents and professionals are not slowing down, but amping it up. We’re not complaining, mind you. We make our own choices. While family and work rightfully tie for top priority, making time to hang out with friends should run a close second.

It only takes one encounter with friends or a crew member you haven’t seen in a while to be reminded of their importance. Be it a cup of coffee, a meal, or the whole damn night, connecting or reconnecting with friends can go a long way to balancing our overall happiness quotient.

The deep connections we make with people are invaluable. We choose these kinds of relationships because we need them to survive: to share our passions, ideas, concerns, longings. Having these reflected back grounds us and gives us the wherewithal to keep moving forward. With good friends, we create and solve puzzles. We discuss our successes and our fears. We compare notes. We vent, brag, encourage and warn. Whether it’s one or a group offering experience and comfort or just letting us be our goofy, playful selves – these are the things that give our lives more meaning, more texture, more depth.

In a climate where social media and the illusion of connectedness rule, some feel more alienated than ever. We throw the term friend around, amass collections of profiles from keyboards in our offices or studies and feed this illusion. We may have hundreds of virtual friends, but how many do we really know? How many can we really relate to? This is not to say that all social media is bad. Some lightweight on-line banter can be fun and entertaining. It can be a cool and easy way to keep tabs on friends who live far from us. But true connections and lasting friendships develop over time and take the willingness to trust and disclose. We need to accept and be accepted for who we truly are. And we count on each other to keep it what way.

Reconnecting with friends on a fairly regular basis not only offers us a chance to relax and unwind, but also to get out of our own heads for a spell. We spend so much time processing our movements, managing our lists, that we lose part of the necessary element to living well: perspective. We know that the universe doesn’t orbit our small existence, but sometimes the gravitational force of our own thinking can make it seem that way. Perspective from friends we trust offers us the opportunity to remember that the reverse is true: our lives, schedules, kids, sports, and things are indeed important, but we are just a small part of the human theater that goes on around us everywhere. Our friendships help remind us of that. When we are able to exchange these important perspectives, we’re more willing and able to help those around us – quite possibly adding to a growing list of people we rightfully call our friends.

To our close friends and the friends we have yet to meet: Cheers!

Siblings Anne and Joe are co-founders of Susan Lane Foundation, a nonprofit organization designed to broaden literary opportunities in Northeast Michigan. The Twin Compass appears here in The Alpena News the last Thursday of every month.

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